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Monthly Archives: July 2014

The Date

28 Monday Jul 2014

Posted by mdsh143 in Her subhubby

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bdsm, bi, bondage, bull, chastity, control, crossdressing, cuckold, discipline, Domme, female led relationship, femdomme, flr, key holder., pegging, redhead, spanking, strap on, strapon, sub, subbie, threesome, wife led marriage, wlm

The Date: 7/27/14: MD was getting dressed last night for Her date with a new guy. She was wearing a new black and white dress that showed off her great figure and incredible cleavage (40DD). She accented the cleavage with some serious bling (from a former lover). MD calls herself “the Queen of Bling”. As i was helping Her get dressed She exposed one of Her breasts and the first thought that went through my mind was that those don’t belong to me anymore. What an incredible realization for a husband of 16 years!

We went to an English pub not too far away where they were to meet. When we walked in i noticed him first from his picture and i watched as he saw MD. His eyes got big and a smile came over his face. i could read the facial expression, it was OMG!! i couldn’t help but laugh to myself, She already had him. MD joined him at the bar and i moved over to the waiting area and told the hostess i was waiting on someone. They must have been at the bar for almost an hour and not once did i notice Her looking over at me. (MD said later, She did look over once or twice). i could tell MD was definitely engrossed in Her conversation with him because i could hear Her laugh and She was leaning into him and playing with Her hair – a dead giveaway. (MD makes a very poor poker player because of Her lack of s poker face and tells, unless it was strip poker because even when She loses, everyone wins!)

After about an hour, he left and MD called me over and we got a table at the restaurant and had dinner. MD said She had a great time and that he asked Her before he left if he could go get them a room at the nearby hotel. MD told him not tonight, but they made a date to meet at our hose for this afternoon. MD’s instructions for today are for me to put clean sheets on the bed, make sure the house is picked up and Her clothes are ready and then She is going to send me to several stores to pick up groceries and other items, so they have the house to themselves this afternoon. She will text me when i am allowed to come home.

One ironic note of last night, MD’s date noticed that not only was the bar tender flirting with Her but the guy who was sitting beside them at the bar kept staring at Her. Welcome to my world!

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

MD’s ken Doll

27 Sunday Jul 2014

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MD’s Ken Doll: 7/26/14: A child of the 60’s and 70’s, i grew up playing with army men and GI Joe’s., while my younger sister grew up playing with Barbie and Ken dolls. It dawned on me, that today i have become more like “Ken” than the action figure of GI Joe. Ken lived in “Barbie’s World”. He was her accessory, did what she said and was always the secondary, not the primary action figure.

i use the analogy to state, i am discovering that in a WLM, it is the Wife’s world and as the husband we are there to facilitate it. It is no longer what i want, it is what i can do to serve. MD and i have had several good conversations the past few nights with Her helping me see how She sees me as Her husband and sh. MD does feel i have made progress in my understanding of my new role in our relationship, but She says there is more to go. MD told me last night, the deeper understanding is not something She can “tell me”, it is something i must grasp. Though i am not Buddhist, there is a understanding of certain Zen moments, when you comprehend the world in a new way.

One thing that i am realizing is that my sexual identity has changed. As i mentioned in my last blog that i am no longer MD’s lover (still hard to admit), but now also, I have to rethink what i do for MD where i receive sexual pleasure. i love performing oral sex on MD. i love the way She tastes and love to have my tongue and lips on Her body. But, do i now even have the right to ask Her to be allowed to perform oral for Her? Even though She almost always cums when i do so, am i really doing for Her pleasure or mine? The conclusion i came to last night, was i need to stop instigating or seeking any sexual experience, as that is not my role. i am here for Her pleasure. If She wants me to lick or suck on Her, then She will tell me to do so. Though i may enjoy it that is not to me my focus or concern. My primary pleasure should be from being allowed to serve MD and hopefully bring Her pleasure. It is not my world, it is MD’s and She allows me to be part of it.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Changes Part 1

26 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by mdsh143 in MY Perspective - the FemDomme

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I rarely blog, my sub hubby does but mainly from the standpoint of expressing his thoughts to me. he is amazing at putting thought to paper while I prefer to articulate verbally but, I think it gives time to think things through before trying to articulate them to me.

Since April, things have progressed rapidly on our Wife Led Marriage and thought I really needed to get something ‘down on paper’ to sort out all my thoughts.

First, I owe an apology to all those women I use to see that may have ordered for their partners or who told them they could not have another beer and so on. I use to think ‘what bitches, they are so domineering that their partner cannot have a say?” Well, I guess I am now that “bitch” lol. While some of them may have really been bitches, I have to say (and think sh would agree) I am a loving Domme, I am not rude, loud (except in bed), or obnoxious. I get my point across in a kind manner. sh always said, I could tell a person to go to hell and they would thank me. But do not take my kindness as being a push over, because I am not, and have excelled in my career and life because I am driven and know what I want.

If I was someone looking from the outside and they were reading my sh’s post, I would imagine I come across as selfish and do not care about my sh. That could not be further from the truth and have stated in a previous post, I love my guy beyond belief and would do anything to protect him.

I also deny him sex and at first thought it selfish of me but then started to come around to the thinking that actually, it takes off the pressure off of him – he no longer has to try to keep up with me and deal with performance anxiety, he is now free to focus on pleasing me in other ways. From a submissive point of view I do not totally get that, from a Domme perspective it gives me a very powerful feeling.

I also have put some strict rules down on how he interacts with me and when he is away from me. I do this in part as not to confuse him, as a sub really needs to know the boundaries or rules at all times. I say this from experience, having had a couple subs and learning that they needed clear directions on “playing” as well as in real life.

That is it for now as I am off to meet a potential bull 😉

Good Boy 2

26 Saturday Jul 2014

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Good Boy 2: 7/25/14: In a previous blog i mentioned that MD loves to tell me “good boy” or “gb” when texting with me. It is strangely flattering and humiliating at the same time. i love that MD is pleased when i have done something good, but also humiliated that it validates that i am now less than the man i used to be. Yesterday while at the office, i had to text MD and ask for Her permission when to go to the bathroom, or get a glass of water and would have had to ask for Her permission to eat lunch, but She was getting a massage at the time. i texted her to ask permission to leave the office and also to be able to stop by Starbucks and get a cup of coffee. i had to text her when i arrived at each location that i stopped at and then text Her when i left. Each time MD responded with gb or vgb (very good boy). How many other men, making a six figure salary and an executive in their company, have to ask permission to do these types of things? Men don’t, boys do. When you were a kid, you had to tell your parents/guardians where you were or get their permission to do something. That is my world again. MD is to a major degree is my guardian, She thus makes the rules and i obey. (In fact as part of our marriage contract, She will be drawing up a POA making Her legally able to make all personal, medical and financial decisions for me.) By saying “good boy”, She emphasizes that fact and my new standing in our marriage. Little boys don’t get to make their own decisions. The flip side is that they are also free from a lot of other adult responsibilities as well. Those are the responsibilities MD has taken over from me.
One caveat to Her calling me “gb”. There are time that She will also call me Her “glpb” or “good little pussy boy”. That takes my humiliation to a whole new level. I feel a deeper shame when MD says this, because it takes even the masculinity out of the normal “boy” term. But, at the same time it makes me incredibly excited from a submissive stand point.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Fast Food

23 Wednesday Jul 2014

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Fast Food: 7/23/14: MD and i have significantly changed our eating habits the past couple of years for health reasons and because of it i have lost over 40 lbs. We eat a lot of organic fresh fruit and vegetables with very little red meat (still need some occasional Texas Brisket!) When we do go out to eat we try to find places that provide healthy options. Last week we drove by a McDonalds and it got us to talking about how we have no desire to eat there any longer. The food is not healthy and not very good. We then tried to figure out if we had to stop at a fast food place, where would we stop and what could we order. The reality is there were not a lot of options. Now when you travel (especially in Texas) going through mostly small towns, options can be very limited, but we do our best to take snacks that tide us over until we get to a place that serves what we want to eat. Outside of the convenience factor, (or that is the only option), there is just no reason for us to eat at fast food locations.
i write the above, because it dawned on me today, that i have become a “McDonalds” for MD. A couple of months ago, i wrote a blog about MD wanting me to become Her “eunuch”; not physically but practically. In the past few weeks i am beginning to understand what i think She meant and after last night, it became even clearer.
MD told me Monday night, that She is implanting a new schedule for me, and going forward She is going to milk me every Tuesday night. i now have to go to bed ever Tuesday at 8:30 and spend 45 minutes using a vibrating butt plug. After 45 minutes, MD will come inspect and then allow me to get ready for bed. Though not very successful last night with the amount of fluid released, it did put me into a very sub state. When MD got to bed, i asked to be able to lick Her ass. MD said She wasn’t sure since She was sweaty from being outside, but if i begged hard enough, She might consider it. So i spent several minutes begging to be able to lick MD’s ass. Finally She agreed and turned over and i was able to lick Her ass and bring Her to an orgasm. When MD was through with me She saw that i was hard and scolded me. She then had me lay on my back and began to stroke me until i got right to the edge of cumming and then She would stop, just tantalizing me over and over again. While She was stroking me, MD said that once my “chastity time” was over, She still wasn’t sure that i was going to be allowed to cum inside Her. She told me that She was very seriously considering that any future sex for me would be with another guy. i would either cum in him and/or he would cum in me. MD also indicated that i really wasn’t that good of a lover since i am not very large nor, do i last very long and with all of the options She now has, i am not really needed.
Today it dawned on me – i am now MD’s McDonalds. Though not very good, nor really want you want to satisfy you, but as a last resort, you might stop there. MD now has plenty of “places to choose from” when She wants sex. In reality, She could have a different guy every night for a week that is currently texting with Her. With all those great choices to choose from, why should She now “settle” for less than great sex?
As for being MD’s eunuch, i realize i am quickly becoming that. My dick really doesn’t serve a function for MD except for Her to punish or torment it. If i now get hard, MD usually either spanks me or plays with me until I am ready to “pop” and then makes me turn over and go to sleep. Though not Her actual physical eunuch, i am now beginning to understand what She was trying to tell me a couple of months ago. Whether or not MD ever allows me inside Her or not, i do not know. She may be just saying that to put me deeper in sub space (which worked) or that the last time a couple of months ago, will actually be the last time i get to cum in Her. Whatever MD decides it is humiliating to know that if I am allowed inside Her instead of a “great meal”, She will being settling for “fast food”.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Making Sexy Look Easy

20 Sunday Jul 2014

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Making Sexy Look Easy 7/20/14: It has been over three months since MD and i decided to make our marriage into one that is Wife Led. It has not always been easy, but it has been very gratifying. i love it now that when we go out MD naturally orders for us and pays. There are times She asks me what i would like but not always. If the wait staff comes and asks me if i want another beer or drink, i look to MD for approval. It is interesting noticing while being at a bar or restaurant how quickly the wait staff begins to ignore me and only focuses on MD.
i also love the incredible sexy confidence that MD now shows in public. She has always been sexy, but there is a new level of confidence that is powerful and amazing. Last night She met a new guy with whom She has been texting. They talked for a few minutes and She said to him “are we going to kiss or what?” She was shocked that he was so nervous to meet Her. MD has no idea how “powerful” Her sexiness is to most guys, but even though he was nervous, he wants to see Her again soon. So MD may have two or three regular “boy toys” before long.
i mentioned to MD this morning that She makes sexy look easy. MD has the ability to get out of bed looking incredibly sexy. Her gorgeous curly red hair all disheveled is striking. She is one of those women who doesn’t need makeup to be beautiful. But the most amazing thing about MD is Her positive attitude. We were at a World Market yesterday and saw a sign that said something like “life is good even when it isn’t perfect”. She looked at me and said “my life is perfect”. Just the thought that She could say that and mean it is incredible. MD has faced numerous health issues in Her life and is currently dealing with a health issue for which many people can’t cope. MD’s doctor has even asked that She call some of her other patients with the same condition to work with them, because of Her positive spirit.
Though our WLM is a journey and not a destination, i am loving the trip. One thing that these past three months have revealed is how much i need to improve to be the sh that MD deserves. Some days are better than others, but my level of focus and consistency needs to improve. i am working on it, but i am still disappointed in my growth.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Day 42

19 Saturday Jul 2014

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7/18/14: This week MD allowed me to see Her pussy twice. The first time was when She had me shave Her and the second time was last night when She wanted me to take a picture of Her playing with Herself using Her glass dildo. It is a strange feeling to take an intimate picture of your wife knowing that She is going to be sharing it with another guy (Mr. Max). But the positive was i was allowed to look and then lick Her while She moved the dildo in and out. i love to hear MD cum!!

The “Great Summer of Chastity” continues to grind away. MD edged me a few nights ago to the brink of several orgasms, just to stop right at the last minute and then when finished teasing me, She told me to turn over and go to sleep. MD also told me last night, that i was going to be milked again this weekend. The other thing MD is doing this summer that is driving me crazy, is often going “commando”. She has been wearing dresses without panties and/or bra much of the summer. When we go into town during the day, MD will wear a bra without panties and then at night if going somewhere where it is more adult oriented or staying at home, She will also not wear a bra, which is amazing! Sometimes She will even take off Her panties while we are going down the road just to tease me.

Speaking of Mr. Max, they were supposed to get together this week, but with our travels and his other commitments, it didn’t work out. She hasn’t yet said if they are planning anything next week or not. Either way, i feel confident that i won’t be the next person to cum in MD.

* Last time i came- June 6
* Day 2 – June 8
* Day 12 – June 18
* Day 22 – June 28
* Day 32 – July 8
* Day 42 – July 18
* Day 52 – July 28

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

The Week In Review

13 Sunday Jul 2014

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7/13/14: We have had some computer issues this week, so i thought i would just write a “week in review” blog.
i received my spanking on Tuesday for being rude and not responding to MD in an appropriate manner. i know the severity could have been worse, but i am very glad it wasn’t, because it was severe enough as it was. MD used the wooden paddle with the holes in it She bought from a professional Domme a few years ago. It is about 16” in length and about an inch thick. The lady was selling her equipment and MD purchased several paddles and whips from her. This was the first time MD used this paddle on me that wasn’t “for play”. All i can say is “holy hell!”
i received a second spanking on Friday night for not following MD’s instructions. On the way home from work i was supposed to stop at Starbucks and buy some Milk Pods for our coffee maker. MD said i was allowed to get me something while i was there. When i got to Starbucks, i got my drink, but forget to purchase MD’s milk pods. The ten swats i received were not near as severe as the ones earlier in the week, but i know that i have to improve at paying attention to the directions MD gives me or the spankings will escalate.
MD had a first date with Mr. Max on Thursday. He had contacted Her by a site to which they both belong. They had been emailing and texting for a couple of weeks and then met at a Starbucks on Thursday evening. i went with Her but once he arrived, i was dismissed to go inside while they sat at a table outside and talked. The date went well and i was informed that he would probably becoming over this week.
MD still will not allow me to see her naked and it has been nearly three weeks. i must wear a blindfold when i lick her or help dress her. Friday night, She did flash me one boob for bringing Her a martini just to get a reaction from me. MD has such beautiful breasts and nipples. Maybe one day She will allow me to post a pic.
Thursday night, MD edged me again. She wanted me to get hard to try on a new penis extension we bought. After She had me try it on, She began to masturbate me until i got close to cumming (which didn’t take too long). As soon as i got close, MD stopped and waited a few seconds and then started again. She must have done this 10-12 times until my whole body was shaking. MD then told me to turn over and go to sleep and She used a vibrator on herself.
After the date with Max, MD and i went to a bar/restaurant and got a drink and appetizer. MD allowed me to get a beer. When the waitress came by a little later, and asked if i wanted another. i looked at MD and She said, “yes you can have another” in a very authoritative manner. It is exciting when MD exerts Her authority in public.
i was told that MD would be milking me again this evening. We will see what results i have this week.
We are traveling to the Galveston area this week for a couple of days, so i am not sure will happen at the hotel, but knowing MD, anything is possible!

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Day 32

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

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July 18, 2014: i am just over a third way through my minimum chastity period. MD told me that the “minimum” chastity period was to be 94 days, but She can extend the time as long as She desires after that. i don’t really know how long MD will keep me “locked”. Since it is going to be a while, MD is beginning to try to “milk me”again. This is the massaging of the prostrate gland so you have a release of seminal fluid without orgasm. Though it releases the fluids, it does not relieve the “sexual frustration”. She has done this to me before but it has been several years ago.

Sunday night MD had me put on my green dress, 5″ black heels and wig. (She called it my “milking outfit”.) She had me lay on the bed on my side, blindfolded me and fastened my hands behind my back. MD then inserted a “bulb” shape vibrator in my ass, turned it on and left the room. i guess it was about 15 minutes when She came back to check on me and see if there were any results. Since there were none, MD changed out vibrators and put a specially designed prostrate massager in me and left me alone again. It seemed to have a bit more effect but no significant leakage. Since it had been about thirty minutes and it was getting late, MD decided to call it a night and we got ready for bed. Even though it was not a “successful milking”, it did put me into sub space and when MD came to bed i cuddled up beside Her and She held me like a mother comforting a small child. i went to sleep almost immediately in that position.

There is something extremely humiliating about your Wife/Masteress, sticking a vibrator up your ass and leaving you tied up like that while She goes takes a shower and texts with another guy. More and more i realize that i am Her “property” and She can do with me whatever She chooses.

Addendum:
i am getting 15 swats tonight for responding inappropriately to an order by MD last night. i don’t know which is worse, the feelings of disappointment in myself for responding the way i did, the pain from the actual spanking or dealing all day with the dread of the spanking to come.

* Last time i came- June 6
* Day 2 – June 8
* Day 12 – June 18
* Day 22 – June 28
* Day 32 – July 8
* Day 42 – Will be July 18

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Moving Forward

06 Sunday Jul 2014

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7/6/14: MD and i have spent the last several evenings talking about how to move forward in our WLM. Some of the talks have been fun, some have been very painful, but all have been necessary to go where we both desire. One of the major issues that i have to continue to improve is managing my temper. i lose my temper way too easy and often become defensive and respond negatively when challenged about it. i really do want to get this part of my personality under control. i see way too much of my father in me, which is not good. We discussed some things i need to do handle my temper better. One thing is to have weekly discussions with MD telling Her how i think i did this week and what i felt my triggers were and get Her opinion on how i did. The other thing we discussed is the implementation of a “behavior modification” program. It is one thing to try to do a better job, it is another to face some serious consequences from not achieving it. MD has told me that moving forward, any time She feels that i am disrespectful, or my tone or my actions are not appropriate, She will take the immediate necessary actions to provide correction. Let me be clear, this is not something for which i am looking forward.

Another issue we have discussed is establishing clear guidelines and expectations. MD asked how She could help me on this aspect of our marriage. As a couple who has been married for 16 years with set “patterns”, we are undertaking new roles and responsibilities and this can be challenging. Sometimes it is easy to slide back into the very comfortable relationship we always have had together. Unfortunately, that means i am not being the submissive i need to be and MD is allowing it, which is not helping me change. MD said that She is going to work on creating a daily “expectation list”. i don’t want to call it a chore list, because it is more than a list of items i have to check off, but it is what She is expecting me to do each day. Now there some things that are a given every day, e.g., the dishes are to be washed. That is my daily job responsibility, so She is not going to list that every day. MD is going to create a “supplemental” list for which i will be responsible. i think this will help me as it makes me know what MD wants that day. It also give MD some flexibility on Her role. Some days, She may want to have me “do” a lot of tasks. Some days, MD may want more of my attention. This way, i will be following Her lead and not trying to accomplish what i think is important. This will also be way from MD to “grade” me on how i did that day against a set list of expectations. “Did I get them done?” “Were they done well?” By having a set list, it will allow MD to provide a daily critique of how i did, along with proving a training opportunity for me to meet Her expectations.

Creating a WLM is not easy, it takes a lot of work on both partners. i honestly feel this is going to be the best thing for us and i eagerly embrace the challenges. But don’t even begin to enter into this type of relationship without a lot of respect, communication and love for your spouse. Thankfully, i have an incredible partner in MD who will provide that leadership and guidance along the way.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

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