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7/6/14: MD and i have spent the last several evenings talking about how to move forward in our WLM. Some of the talks have been fun, some have been very painful, but all have been necessary to go where we both desire. One of the major issues that i have to continue to improve is managing my temper. i lose my temper way too easy and often become defensive and respond negatively when challenged about it. i really do want to get this part of my personality under control. i see way too much of my father in me, which is not good. We discussed some things i need to do handle my temper better. One thing is to have weekly discussions with MD telling Her how i think i did this week and what i felt my triggers were and get Her opinion on how i did. The other thing we discussed is the implementation of a “behavior modification” program. It is one thing to try to do a better job, it is another to face some serious consequences from not achieving it. MD has told me that moving forward, any time She feels that i am disrespectful, or my tone or my actions are not appropriate, She will take the immediate necessary actions to provide correction. Let me be clear, this is not something for which i am looking forward.
Another issue we have discussed is establishing clear guidelines and expectations. MD asked how She could help me on this aspect of our marriage. As a couple who has been married for 16 years with set “patterns”, we are undertaking new roles and responsibilities and this can be challenging. Sometimes it is easy to slide back into the very comfortable relationship we always have had together. Unfortunately, that means i am not being the submissive i need to be and MD is allowing it, which is not helping me change. MD said that She is going to work on creating a daily “expectation list”. i don’t want to call it a chore list, because it is more than a list of items i have to check off, but it is what She is expecting me to do each day. Now there some things that are a given every day, e.g., the dishes are to be washed. That is my daily job responsibility, so She is not going to list that every day. MD is going to create a “supplemental” list for which i will be responsible. i think this will help me as it makes me know what MD wants that day. It also give MD some flexibility on Her role. Some days, She may want to have me “do” a lot of tasks. Some days, MD may want more of my attention. This way, i will be following Her lead and not trying to accomplish what i think is important. This will also be way from MD to “grade” me on how i did that day against a set list of expectations. “Did I get them done?” “Were they done well?” By having a set list, it will allow MD to provide a daily critique of how i did, along with proving a training opportunity for me to meet Her expectations.
Creating a WLM is not easy, it takes a lot of work on both partners. i honestly feel this is going to be the best thing for us and i eagerly embrace the challenges. But don’t even begin to enter into this type of relationship without a lot of respect, communication and love for your spouse. Thankfully, i have an incredible partner in MD who will provide that leadership and guidance along the way.
Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.