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MD’s Ken Doll: 7/26/14: A child of the 60’s and 70’s, i grew up playing with army men and GI Joe’s., while my younger sister grew up playing with Barbie and Ken dolls. It dawned on me, that today i have become more like “Ken” than the action figure of GI Joe. Ken lived in “Barbie’s World”. He was her accessory, did what she said and was always the secondary, not the primary action figure.
i use the analogy to state, i am discovering that in a WLM, it is the Wife’s world and as the husband we are there to facilitate it. It is no longer what i want, it is what i can do to serve. MD and i have had several good conversations the past few nights with Her helping me see how She sees me as Her husband and sh. MD does feel i have made progress in my understanding of my new role in our relationship, but She says there is more to go. MD told me last night, the deeper understanding is not something She can “tell me”, it is something i must grasp. Though i am not Buddhist, there is a understanding of certain Zen moments, when you comprehend the world in a new way.
One thing that i am realizing is that my sexual identity has changed. As i mentioned in my last blog that i am no longer MD’s lover (still hard to admit), but now also, I have to rethink what i do for MD where i receive sexual pleasure. i love performing oral sex on MD. i love the way She tastes and love to have my tongue and lips on Her body. But, do i now even have the right to ask Her to be allowed to perform oral for Her? Even though She almost always cums when i do so, am i really doing for Her pleasure or mine? The conclusion i came to last night, was i need to stop instigating or seeking any sexual experience, as that is not my role. i am here for Her pleasure. If She wants me to lick or suck on Her, then She will tell me to do so. Though i may enjoy it that is not to me my focus or concern. My primary pleasure should be from being allowed to serve MD and hopefully bring Her pleasure. It is not my world, it is MD’s and She allows me to be part of it.
Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.