Day 82: 8/27/14: Now that MD has told me that we will only be having sex on our anniversary going forward, (or more accurately, i will only be having sex once a year), it has definitely changed by perspective of my chastity period. Chastity is no longer to be measured by days but by attitude. You can’t measure infinity with miles and you can’t measure forever with days, so there must be a new standard of measure. i went back and reread all my chastity posts and was amazed how my viewpoint has changed since June 8th. It has gone from a “summer of chastity” to a “life of chastity”. The first one you measure in days, but that would not be applicable to the second.

Overall, i think my attitude is pretty good about MD’s decision. There are still times i hope She reconsiders or tells me that She was “just joking”, but the reality is that is not the case. The idea of not ever having sex with MD is scary (and i don’t consider the anniversary sex an equivalent since She has already told me that She will just be laying there) but there are ways MD is helping compensate for “my loss”.

• The first thing is that MD is allowing me to lick Her several times a day. So far, it is averaging 2-3 times daily and one day it was 5 times. She now has me wake Her up by crawling between Her legs and licking Her until She cums. We normally finish the day with me licking Her pussy and ass. Some days She will just call me over while She is sitting in Her chair and tell me to start licking. There is something incredibly sexually fulfilling to be able to make MD cum that i can’t explain.

• The second thing, is that MD has started a regular “maintenance” session on the weekend. MD informed me that every weekend, She is going to tie me up and spank me and it started this past Sunday night. MD bound my hands above my hands and then pulled down my shorts and panties and i was given 40 swats, using a variety of paddles. This wasn’t the hardest MD has spanked me but it definitely had my attention. She explained that this is to help me stay focused during the week on serving Her. Knowing that each week from now on, i will be getting a spanking does keep one motivated to be on your best behavior. This is separate from a punishment spanking if i do something wrong. MD will continue to do that at the time of infraction or She may add it to the end of the maintenance session.

i think knowing that i agree with MD’s decision, even though i am not particularly thrilled with it, has my dealing with it much easier. Not to say, i have to agree with MD’s decisions to accept it, because that is not the case. i will always accept whatever decision She makes, but i think it has helped me process the reality of it much faster.

* Last time i came- June 6
* Day 2 – June 8
* Day 12 – June 18
* Day 22 – June 28
* Day 32 – July 8
* Day 42 – July 18
* Day 52 – July 28
* Day 62 – Aug 7
* Day 72 – Aug 17
* Day 82 – Aug 27
* Day 95 – Sept 9 (New Record)

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

MD’s sh: 8/25/14: When i think of the different roles i serve as sh to MD it is amazing. As Her hubby, MD has given me several distinct ways to relate to Her.

Sissy – MD likes me to be Her sissy. i wear panties, nightgowns to bed, frilly aprons, lipstick, bras, heels and other articles of women’s clothes up to and including a wig sometimes. It is impossible to feel powerful and masculine in high heels, lipstick and a nightie. It just reinforces the fact that She is the Dominant figure in our family.

Sexy – MD finds me sexy. She says that She loves the way i make Her feel when i touch Her. This is exciting to know that i still turn Her on even after 16 years of marriage. i love the sensual ways we relate in bed, even if intercourse is no longer on the table. i love being able to lick, touch and cuddle with Her.

Sub – In spite of everything else, at times i am still Her sub. When MD gets me hard and brings me right to the edge of climaxing and then stops just to watch me twitch or puts a butt plug in me and makes me wear it all night, She does it because She loves the power She has over me. There is the Domme/sub role we still enjoy.

Slave – A slave is the property of an owner. Often times, an owner will mark their slave to show everyone that he is Her property. MD has already given me a Prince Albert piercing and two tattoos indicating that i am Her cuckold, chastity slave. She indicated that She is working on a third tattoo design to mark the start of my new life of celibacy. It is an amazing feeling to be taken to a tattoo shop and have your Wife tell the artist how She wants him/her to mark you.

Servant – There are many different types of servants. Some choose willingly possibly as an occupation and some choose an indentured servant hood life where one agrees to be a servant for either education or other reward. i guess that is how I most often feel. i was given a choice and willingly chose to be MD’s servant. For that i am given Her direction, leadership, guidance, protection and most of all Her presence. Once you enter a contract of being an indentured servant, you must live out the contract. MD is drawing up our contract. It will be very specific in what i am choosing and what our roles will be. Once it is signed, it will be a legal agreement between us. It will say, that i am choosing to be MD’s servant for the rest of my life or until She chooses otherwise. And under that agreement, i will obey and serve Her however She demands. In addition, i will have very limited rights and will face punishment when i don’t live up to Her expectations. There will be no ambiguity. MD will be my Masteress and i Her servant.

Safety Monitor – The one other role i play is MD’s safety monitor. This is the only part of our life i have any “veto” power. MD has some health conditions and sometimes will try to push past Her limits. She has given me the authority to question or stop Her if it could be a matter of Her safety or health. i take that responsibility very seriously. i also want to protect MD at all costs so as Her protector, if there is any i feel might be harmful to Her, i have the right to speak up. i try to be very judicial when i say something, because it still must be in respect to Her authority, but we have agreed that this is one area, i do have some control.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sexy”, “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

08/23/14: i wrote a blog a few days entitleded “Her Authority” talking about the ways i have to submit to MD’s authority. i thought i would look at our relationship from the other perspective and reflect on MD’s rights. We have agreed that MD now has the right to:
Make all family decisions
Date and have sex with whomever She wants
Not have to do any household chores
Purchase whatever She wants
Make all financial decisions without my input
Have me provide oral services whenever She wants (averaging 2-3 times per day)
Not to have sex with me
Discipline or punish me whenever She chooses
Tend to Her every request
Have full authority over me

Now you would think that based on these rights’ every wife would want to have this same type of arrangement that comes from a WLM. Think about what the most common complaints from wife about their husbands – he always wants sex or is crazy jealous; he complains when she buys anything; he never helps around the house; he is frivolous with money; he never spends time with her, etc. In a WLM, these complaints are all eliminated.
Though it sounds like a great option for the wife, there is also a lot of responsibility in this arrangement as well. i liken it to a CEO of a company. There are a lot of perks with being the boss. They can have people do what they want and are compensated well, but the final decisions are theirs and the success or failure of the company is mostly on their shoulders.

MD is our CEO. She gets to make all the decisions but the ultimate success of us will be through Her leadership. I am glad MD is the leader and CEO of “MDsh Inc.”

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sexy”, “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Christmas, Birthdays and sh’s: 08/20/14: MD sat down with me this past weekend and said that after careful consideration and lot of back and forth (She likened it to an EKG) that She had come to the following decisions:
• From now on, i will only be allowed sex with Her once a year (on our anniversary)
• That though i would be allowed in Her, She would probably just lay there and not be responsive or engaged
• Allowing me inside of Her will be Her gift to me for our anniversary
• That though we would not be having sex (except once a year), She still desires intimacy through cuddling, kissing and my oral services.
• This arrangement has already been put into the contract that i will be signing and is non-negotiable.
• i may be allowed a few additional orgasms through the year, but if so, they will be scheduled out and more “clinical” in nature than sexual. (She did say that the one caveat to that would be if i was with another guy, i would be allowed to have a “real” orgasm). The only reason She is allowing some orgasms is for health reasons. MD feels that after I have an orgasm i am less responsive and compliant and it takes several days for me to be back where I need to be as Her sh. If She finds an effective way to milk me then any additional orgasms will probably be taken away.

As always MD was very sensitive and caring, but very pragmatic in the way She delivered the news. She had read of other WLM marriages who made this decision and at first felt this was not a good approach, because She does love me and does desire an intimate relationship between us. But the more She read and the more She thought about it, MD came to the conclusion that by having sex with me, it only confused and muddled our new roles and relationship, and though Her decision sounded harsh, it in fact was best for us.

i am still working on processing Her decision. There is part of me that feels like this can’t be happening. Even as i typed the preceding paragraphs it sounded more like an article out of a Variations magazine than the reality of my life. That my last real sexual experience for the rest of my life was on June 6th. i wonder how that night might have been different if i knew that at the time? Would i have broken down and pleaded with Her not to take her body away from me? That the joy of hearing Her cum while making love to Her would never ring in my ears again. And what about our coming up anniversary in October, will it be more pain than pleasure? Will it be a bitter sweet reminder of what i use to have and is being enjoyed by others and not me? The thought if MD just lying there or reading or even talking to one off her other lovers totally detached from what i am doing with Her is a powerful thought. When it is over will She even acknowledge it that it happened? Over the years will i anxiously await our anniversary or will i dread being reminded of what i no longer have?

These are just some of the thoughts that are running in my head right now. But even as i express this, i also readily admit that i agree with MDs decision. i had reached the same conclusion even before She told me. Not that i wanted it to be Her decision, heavens no, but from a logical decision it made sense. It is impossible for me to be a lover (even if it is just one of many) and also be Her sh. A queen does not take a slave as a lover. She may choose a slave to please her, but there wouldn’t be an emotional connection. My role is to please Her. Since I can’t do that as Her lover without the emotional connection tied to it, then it makes sense for me to focus my energies to serve only as MD’s oral lover.

i am sure that i will spend a lot of time processing this new reality. i am very grateful that MD is my wife, my best friend and my former lover. i wouldn’t trade the life we have had nor the adventure we are just beginning for anything in the world. There is a saying you can’t grasp the gift that is being given unless you release what you are currently holding in your hand. It is time for me to release the gift that MD gave me these past 16 years and accept the new gift She us giving me.

Question: Christmas, Birthdays and sh’s – What do each of these have in common?

Answer: Each of them only comes once a year.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sexy”, “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Her Approval: 8/18/14:: You have heard the saying, “Be careful what you wish – you might just get it”. For anyone who reads this blog, and wishes you were in my place, just make sure you know the consequences of a WLM. (This is not written as complaint, but a reality check for those who considering this as a lifestyle.)

Please note some of the following things that i as a 50+ year old adult male who is in a highly respected position in his company must seek his Wife’s permission and approval:

Leave the house
Stop at a store
Take a shower
Go to the bathroom
Get a glass of water
Have a drink (alcohol)
What to wear
What to eat
When to eat
When to go to bed
Get a cup of coffee at work
To do chores
What i can buy
Where i can go
If i can watch TV
What blogs i am allowed to read
What books i am allowed to read
To see Her naked
To get an erection
Again, let me reiterate, i am not complaining – i love my new life, but it is a 24/7/365 day lifestyle change. This is not something we play at anymore. So as it is said, be sure and “count the cost”, before you seek a WLM. For me it is worth the cost, i have made my decision.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Day 72: 8/17/14: The word “diet” has different meanings depending on one’s perspective. For some when they think of diet it means restricting what they eat for a period of time, usually to lose weight. They may cut out soft drinks, sugar, etc. for a period of time and then go back to them. For others diet means a way of eating in their daily life. MD and i began making changes to our diet a couple of years ago. Where i used to eat a lot of meat, breads, and starches, we have gone to a much more organic, vegetarian, and unprocessed type of diet.

If you told me two years ago, i wouldn’t be drinking any diet cokes or eating almost no red meat, very little chicken or pork, and a very limited amount of sugar, bread, rice and potatoes, I would have told you that I would be starving and miserable. Thankfully that has not the case. From someone who barely ate veggies, to now someone who gets a salad or veggie plate several times a week it has been an amazing transformation. I have lost over 50 lbs, have far more energy and feel better than i have in as long as i can remember and i really don’t miss those foods. When i am out at a restaurant, it is not an issue to order healthy options (or technically MD will order them). Now don’t get me wrong, a steak still sounds good and i love the flavor, but i don’t miss not having it.

The reason i bring this up is to try to relate it to what i am going through with the chastity. In previous chastity periods, it was for a period of a time and then we resumed our normal sexual relations. It was similar to going on a diet. Restrictions for a while and then resume previous behavior. This time it is a change to our way of life. Our “sexual diet” is changing; and just like when we changed our food diet, from where we started to where we are now is vastly different. I am already seeing the same thing happening in our sex life.

MD has played with other guys in the past, but i would describe it in more of a “dessert” style; something to add to what we were already doing. Now it feels it is more of the main course. She wants and desires regular sex with other guys. i am now more the appetizer – Her oral lover.

But i have noticed, my tastes are changing as well. i am not nearly as sexually frustrated this go around as in previous chastity periods. i guess it is because i am not anticipating being released. Whether MD allows me on occasional orgasm or inside Her in the future, the reality is that this is my new normal. Don’t get me wrong, i still find MD incredibly sexy and would love to have sex with Her, but i don’t focus on that as i did previously. i am finding that i don’t get hard near as often as i did just a few short weeks ago. There is far less of a sexual frenzy, excitement or frustration that i experienced in the past and am far more “calm” in my new lifestyle.

My sexual appetite is changing, just as my physical one has changed these past two years. i have no doubt that in a year i will look back and can’t believe how much more it will have changed.

* Last time i came- June 6
* Day 2 – June 8
* Day 12 – June 18
* Day 22 – June 28
* Day 32 – July 8
* Day 42 – July 18
* Day 52 – July 28
* Day 62 – Aug 7
* Day 72 – Aug 17
* Day 82 – Aug 27

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Housework: 8/14/14: As i mentioned in my previous blog, i have done some traveling lately. On this last trip my flight was delayed and i did not get home until the next day. One of the first things i noticed was that MD had done some of the dishes while i was gone and i was really bothered by that. Housework is my responsibility and i felt like i let MD down. i realize that i had to travel for work and couldn’t control flight delays, but that is not the point. It is my job to do the dishes and She had to do them instead.

That is big step for me. We have always shared housework responsibilities to some degree, but now i see them as totally my responsibility. Cleaning, washing, vacuuming, etc., are all things i can do for MD and i now want to do them. Now, my standards for cleanliness have never been has high as MD’s, so my challenge now is not only do the housework, but to do them at a high level. It is not about meeting my standards but meeting Her’s. From one who grew up in a home where Saturday mornings were housecleaning days and dreading it, since i wanted to watch cartoons, to now being the one who almost looks forward to putting on my sissy apron and cleaning. i guess i am finding joy in my new role as MD’s maid.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

What i Need: 8/13/14: The last few weeks i have done some traveling for work and i have hated it. i used to travel a lot in my previous job and that was one of the major reasons i took my current position, to get off the road as much. Besides all the traditional reasons for hating traveling, the lack of sleep, bad food, the travel delays, etc., the main reason for me is that i miss MD. i love being with Her and hate when we are not together. i know that most married couples don’t like to spend all their extra time together, but we really do. MD is my best friend and i love being with Her.

With that being said, during this last few days of travel, it also reminded me of what i need from MD. As we move further down the WLM, i am beginning to realize there are things i may not necessarily want, but there are things that i need from Her.

1) i need Her Discipline – When traveling, i miss not having the structure and order that comes from being around MD. i enjoy following Her rules, which is an amazing thing coming from the anti-rule person. i always said, “rules are mere suggestions.” Now i want Her rules. i am also finding i need (not want) her physical discipline when those rules aren’t followed. Though i am not one who enjoys pain like some submissives, i am beginning to understand my need for regular punishment and discipline. There is a part of me that needs to fear MD. To know that if i don’t follow the rules or am not diligent in my service to MD, that there will be consequences and painful ones. In addition, the need for regular “maintenance”. That there will be times that MD disciplines me not for breaking a rule, but because She knows that it keeps me grounded and in my place.

2) i need Her Humiliation – There are things that MD does that reminds me that we are no longer equals. Though we are Wife and husband, and best friends, we are no longer on the same level. She is the authority and ruler in our house and i am beneath Her. When MD does certain things to me, it solidifies my understanding of our places. Whether it is making me wear diapers and having to pee in them; making me dress feminine and take me outside where i may be seen by neighbors; wearing my cuckold jewelry; or any of the other 100 ways She has at Her disposal, i find i need those “reminders” on a regular basis. There is a certain fear and confidence that humiliation brings. i never know what MD may require, but i find that i gain confidence in myself and my ability to serve Her when i am in the moment. Wearing a pink frilly apron outside knowing that others may see me in it, brings a level of confidence that seems to be contradictory. Being humiliated makes me confident as an sh. I know it is strange, but i am not trying to be rational, just expressing what submitting to MD does to me.

These past few months have revealed so much about who i am and what i need. i believe that MD has known this all along, but if you had asked me this just four months ago, i would have said the following statements were false, but now i know them to be true:

• i am not MD’s lover.
• MD needs to make all of my decisions for me.
• i need MD’s consistent discipline and punishment.
• i am not MD’s equal and need reminded of that almost on a daily basis.

What else will be added to that list?

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Day 62: 8/7/14: Whenever you discover a new paradigm it takes a while to be able to reprocess all the things you used to “know” and i think that is the stage i am at right now. i am MD’s husband and best friend, but not Her lover, at least in the traditional sense of a typical husband. Do i miss having sex with Her, absolutely! Do I think this is the best thing for us right now, yes i do. So it is balancing what i want, to what is best. MD is like that delicious piece of chocolate cake when you are on a diet; because you can’t have it, it is hard not to keep from staring and lusting after it. i think that is the reason behind MD’s decision to put me in chastity, to get me “reprogrammed”. To quit lusting after Her sexually and focusing on what i need to do to please Her.

Sex has always provided so much of an emotional connection between us. i am sensing that the emotional connection is being transitioned for me in my level of submissiveness to MD. When i am in a deeply submissive attitude towards MD, it is almost equivalent to experiencing great sex, it is a very emotional. That was the case Tuesday night during my latest milking session. After MD released me, i was incredibly emotional and feeling very submissive to Her. It was as if we had had experienced a great sexual intimacy. Regarding my new life paradigm, and paraphrasing a line from the TV show, “The Big Bang Theory”, i feel like i am beginning to get it, i just wish i was getting there faster.

* Last time i came- June 6
* Day 2 – June 8
* Day 12 – June 18
* Day 22 – June 28
* Day 32 – July 8
* Day 42 – July 18
* Day 52 – July 28
* Day 62 – Aug 7
* Day 72 – Aug 17

Our Relationship: (Repeats on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.