Apprehensive: 9/30/14: Maybe better yet i should say, scared shitless! Our anniversary is coming up in October and MD has told me that is the one day a year She is going to allow me to cum inside Her. Though we have been lovers for more than 17 years and i am really nervous about being with Her. It has been over 4 months and She has had four other lovers since the last time i have been inside Her. She has told me that three of Her lovers have been very good (Her nice way of saying much better than me.)

You have to understand that MD is an incredible lover. Everyone She has been with has said the same thing (well at least the 11 i have met!). She has had over 40 lovers, including TV stars, famous musicians, and models. If MD was a horse, She would be a Kentucky thoroughbred; i am more like the nice gentle horses you see at the dude ranch, no bucking, just a nice gentle pace.

There was a movie in the 60’s starring Alan Alda called “Paper Lion”. It was about the true story of a sports writer who got to go to training camp with the Detroit Lions and the adventures of an average male competing against professionals. Suffice it to say, he didn’t fare well. In the bedroom, i am the average one, She is the professional. She will always outperform!

MD has told me that She is considering several options about our anniversary “date”. She has considered having another one of Her lovers to play with Her before and/or after me. She has thought about playing games on Her IPad, or texting with one of Her lovers while i am inside Her. She even told me that She may just use a big stop watch and count the number of seconds i last inside Her.

The apprehension of wondering what it going to be like and then knowing that once it is over, it will be another full year until i get to experience Her again, along with the realization of knowing my time inside Her will pass way too fast. i have less than 10 days and i am getting more nervous every day.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Both And: 9/28/14: Many years ago there was an iconic beer commercial where drinkers of a beer argued whether the best part of that brand was whether it was less filling or tasted great. The idea being that for whatever reason you enjoyed it really didn’t matter. That commercial reminds me of MD a bit now. i have noticed that over the last couple of weeks not only is MD becoming more confident in Her role but She is also feeling less guilty. i think at first MD felt a bit guilty having me serve Her or keeping me in a servant position. i see that no longer being as evident. It seems She is far more confident in Her role which in turn makes me more confident in mine. Things i have seen that give evidence to that is:
• She will sometimes address me as if i was more of a hired servant and that i need to know my place.
• MD tells me less about Her conversations with a Her “boys” as it is not about me.
• She will order me to “strip” before Her and pose. It is like She has Her own private “Ken” doll.
• The way MD commands me to lick Her pussy and ass whenever She wants to cum.

This morning after i licked MD’s ass, i curled up next to Her with my head at Her waist and i realized how very powerless i felt. She was in total control and i was at peace with that realization.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Another Man’s Pussy: 09/22/14: Last night when we went to bed, MD told me to get between Her legs and lick Her. Now that is one of my favorite things in the world to do. In fact, i told MD that i wanted to list that as one of my hobbies on my profile! It used to be that when i licked MD that once finished often She would allow me to climb inside Her. While licking Her last night it dawned on me that MD’s pussy was no longer mine! i would no longer be able to get MD ready for me to climb in Her. Her pussy belonged to the other guys who were Her lovers. It was a strange feeling licking another man’s pussy, but i loved it.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

The Record is Broken – No More Chastity: 9/9/14: It has been an amazing three months! To see where we began in June to where we are now. It is a bit of an adjustment when your Wife of 16 years comes to you and says:

1) You are not going to be my lover any more
2) I am going to have other guys/women meet my sexual needs from now on, not you
3) Though I find you sexy, you aren’t the kind of lover that satisfies me well enough (you don’t last long enough)
4) I will allow you to have sex with me once a year on our anniversary
5) Your main job from now on is to please me orally
6) Since you are not going to be my lover any longer, there is no reason for you to get an erection any longer (and if you do, you may be punished)
7) Whether you experience an orgasm in the future will be my decision, but other than for health reasons, I am not really concerned whether you ever have an orgasm again
8) Your sexual identity is now to be my sex toy – 100% focused on my pleasure. (which means 0% focused on you)

I made it to day 95. My previous chastity record of 94 days has been broken, but now there is no longer a record to be kept. If MD chooses or allows me to cum it won’t be within the confines of chastity, it will be in the realm of what MD requires of me. There will not be a record to keep or break again.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Leaving the Secure Area: 9/5/14: i had to travel this week for business. i use to travel a lot for work, but the past few years it has really been curtailed;. Unfortunately, i am now working on a project that makes me travel more often to have group work sessions. This week i was about to leave the airport to head to the hotel, when i came to that place in every airport where it says “Leaving Secure Area, No Reentry”. i always have this momentary angst wondering if i have everything or do i need to reconsider before i go through. I get the same feeling when getting a rental car. When you are leaving or entering the rental car areas, they almost always have the tire guards that once you pass over them they have spikes that pop up so you can’t back up. Once you made you decision to go over, you are committed to it.

i am feeling somewhat that way in my relation with MD and Her decision that i will only be allowed to have sex with Her once a year. The decision has been made, i have gone through the security check point or over the tire guard and the spikes have popped up. In talking with MD over the weekend, i felt that there was no hesitancy or second guessing in Her mind about where we were headed. What i find amazing is how comfortable i feel with that decision. It is like leaving that secure area, you have a tendency to want to reconsider to make sure, but once you go through, you are ready to get to your destination or in the case last night, ready to get home. Though the decision is final, the adventure of a life as MD’s sh is before me.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.

Is It Fair? 8/30/14: Is it fair that MD can have sex whenever and with whomever She chooses and i am not allowed to flirt or even look at another woman? Is it fair that She can cum as often as She wants and i am only guaranteed to be able to cum once a year? Is it fair that i have to do all the housework and MD gets to throw things on the floor knowing that i will pick them up? i guess the answer is dependent on what you define as fair.

In most relationships fair is somewhat defined as the 50/50 rule. The idea that each person will have 50% of the responsibility in the relationship. This often symbolized as scales being in balance or as i think of it as the teeter totter example. As long as everyone does their fair share then everything stays in balance. Unfortunately life is not like that. The dessert never seems to get split evenly, someone always gets the bigger piece, just watch any dinner table at Thanksgiving, someone is always complaining about their share and who got more. The same is true in a marriage, things aren’t always in balance. Someone is always doing more in some area and too often feelings get hurt and resentment grows.

In a WLM, there is a different type of balance, i like to think of it in terms of a “zero sum” rule of balance. Instead of measuring balance or fairness in terms of keeping things equal, i see it as “zeroing out”. There are numerous examples of this type of balance. In finance ledger the assets should equal liabilities. In atoms, you have positive protons and negative electrons. In physics, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And in a WLM, theoretically MD has 100% control and i have 0%. Again, in real life it doesn’t always work that way and there are some controls i do have, but when we are at our best MD is the positive in the relationship to my negative; She leads, i follow. She commands, i obey. She dictates, i serve.

So to answer the original question – “Is it fair?” For us the answer is yes. It just depends on what type of measurement you choose to use.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.