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7/09/15:i came across a term recently – “compersion”, though i was unfamiliar with the word, i was very familiar with what it means. Compersion is a term that was first coined by a polyamory group back in the 90’s. It basically refers to the joy one feels when your partner experiences pleasure or joy from another relationship. It is sometimes referred to as the exact opposite of jealousy. From a cuckold perspective, it is not the same feeling as being sexually excited by watching or hearing of your wife’s pleasure with her lover, it is more of the joy you feel knowing that she is experiencing pleasure. There have been times, MD has let me be a part of playing with another guy. Sometimes i have been allowed to watch; sometimes allowed only to hear them play; and on a few occasions i been allowed to participate. (Once i was even allowed to lick Her while he f*cked MD from behind.) i have to admit these times were sexually exciting and unfortunately that was a big driver when MD first began cuckolding me – i wanted Her to play for my sexual thrill.
Compersion though is a different feeling, and it is i feel now when MD plays with another guy. Compersion is the joy of when MD walks out of the bedroom with a grin and a “well f*cked” look on Her face when “J” is over at the house. It is the feeling that i get when MD is smiling at a text or email She receives from a current or potential lover and i know that it has Her a bit excited. It is the joy i feel when She comes back from a “first date” with the confidence and excitement She has because the guy was blown away by Her. It is when the person you love feels or experiences sexual pleasure and it brings you joy for them – that is compersion.
MD has a former lover who is/was an actor/singer and currently lives in England. Last night i suggested She “friend” him on Facebook. (She hasn’t seen him in almost 25 years.) She found his Facebook page and asked me if it bothered me that She was “liking” him. i told Her no, in fact it was the exact opposite of that. Though i know the odds of MD seeing him again because of the distance is very remote, it brought a joy and pleasure to me to see the grin on Her face as She began mentally reminiscing about their relationship.
MD has another lover who is the lead singer of a rock group, (singers and pilots can really make Her panties hit the floor!), that you probably have heard of before. Though they are currently touring in Europe, they were in the Dallas area a few months ago, and we got tickets to go see them. She had known him before we were together and before the group was famous. They have kept in touch through the years. Though he didn’t know She was in the audience that night, it was fun watching Her smile as he sang some songs, which were probably part of the group’s original set, when they were lovers. Getting to experience Her joy that night was an incredible feeling.
Last week, MD was supposed to meet “B” at a hotel for their first time. She had met him the week before at restaurant and She felt very comfortable with him. One of the things that She liked was that though he was married, his wife knew he was meeting Her. (He texted his wife upon arrival.) They had used to be swingers, but because of a physical condition, she was no longer sexually active. The day MD and “B” were to meet, he sent Her a text and cancelled saying “he had cold feet.” This happens more often than you would think, and so it really didn’t bother MD. A couple of days ago, he emailed MD and apologized and asked if he could have another chance with Her. MD responded back saying that She didn’t want to cause any issues, especially if it was between he and his wife. He said it was not that, but he was having major issues at work, and in fact, his wife was disappointed that he had cancelled the date. Why would a wife be disappointed that her husband didn’t have a sexual date with another woman? Though it probably doesn’t make much sense to most people, it makes perfect sense to me. This was an opportunity for her husband to experience sexual pleasure and he missed out. I imagine that she especially felt it since she is no longer able to provide him sexual pleasure.
i love that MD cuckolds me, but the enjoyment has changed since we began our WLM. Where i used to want Her to play for my sexual pleasure, now i experience a far more intense pleasure from seeing Her happy and sexually fulfilled. i know i am not the lover that “J” is. He can do things to Her, that i would never be able to do and that She finds incredible pleasure from that, brings me great joy.
Next new term – candaulism
Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.