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7/17/15:There is the concept in the BDSM world that when two people are playing they “exchange power”. One person gives another person power over them and they submit to them. Usually this happens during a “scene” and then they go back to normal. In actuality, this is only true to a point. Most of the time there is a “safe word” by the sub, so the person hasn’t really taken any power, maybe they have “borrowed” it from them, but the one who is submitting, can take it back at any point. In our WLM though, there is a definite transfer of power that is taking place from me to MD, which is permanent. The power that MD now has over me is simply incredible. It is hard to describe the difference that has taken place in just the last few months. (For example just this past month, MD ordered me three new bras to wear full time and bought a cuckold sticker for my car and a “Hot Wife” sticker for Her car!) We were discussing last weekend of her growing power and control over me and i asked Her, on a percentage scale where did She feel She was, in having complete power over me? Her response was 90%. i had mentally made a note to myself before i asked the question and had the number at 91% in my mind, so we both basically see it the same way. The obvious question is what is keeping Her from having 100%? First, i think 100% is a great goal to shoot for, but that is almost impossible to get, just by the nature of who we are as people. But the other reason is that MD has been teaching me that our WLM is a journey and some things have to be experienced before the lesson can be learned. i remember several months ago asking for Her to tell me what else i needed to learn about being a good sh, and She said that i wasn’t ready. i can look back and see how wise Her words were. Sometimes the best lessons are not one which you are told something, but ones you live through. That has happened to me many times this past year and a half. The fact is that there are several more “lessons” that MD has told me that i have yet to learn, but will be experiencing in the next three months. i think each of these coming experiences will drive me closer to that 100% control by Her.
1) MD is going to tattoo me. This was supposed to take place a few months ago, but due to some timing issues and some doctor visits, this had to be postponed. Though i have received a couple of tattoos in the past, (and one PA piercing), this will be different. MD is tattooing me. Not that She is doing the actual tattoo, but She has chosen the design, found the artist, determined where the tattoo will be placed, what size it will be, what color(s) and even when it will be done, without one bit of input from me. In fact other than the place where i am getting the tattoo, i have no other knowledge of what She has planned or how it will look. In a way, it is Her way of “branding” me; She is forever marking me as Hers. By submitting my body to Her in this manner (without knowing what it will be until it is done), represents my total commitment to Her ownership of me.
2) i will be taken by another man. MD has a desire to see me submit to and have another man f*ck my ass. She has already met with two guys who are interested in this scenario and i have no doubt it is just a matter of days/weeks that this will take place. This is not something i had ever imagined would happen to me. The first time that i watched MD play with another guy, is an image in my mind i will never forget. To know that MD will forever have an image of another man having his way with me is an image i know She will always have too, and i find that very humiliating. At the same time, i will have an image of MD watching me get taken that i will have forever as well. The power of those images will be something that will drive me more under Her power and control.
3) My last intercourse experience. MD has said, that my last chance to have sexual intercourse will be in October. It is hard to imagine that this day is quickly approaching. i have been MD’s lover for over 18 years and to know that after our next anniversary, i will never be again, is almost impossible to believe. MD is an incredible lover but from that point forward, the only sex She will be having is with other guys, as She will be finished with me in that regard. My only sexual experiences from then on will be the times She chooses to allow me to serve Her orally, or when i am with another guy. To have that kind of control over me and to know that is what She desires is incredible.
4) Put in permanent chastity. The chastity device has been ordered and i assume will be here in a couple of weeks. Outside of some break in or adjustment time, for the most part i will be in a chastity cage on a full time basis. After our anniversary it will pretty much be permanent. MD will now have complete control of my cock. i will no longer be able to touch it, become erect, and of course no more orgasms, or at least like i am used to. (Some guys say that when locked up and through anal stimulation they have something of an orgasm and some cum leaks out, but not the powerful spasms that they used to have – much more internal than external.) Though i have been in chastity before, but it was with the knowledge there was a “light at the end of the tunnel”. That will no longer be the case. MD will not be releasing me to enjoy any freedom. Outside of doctor visits and some travel, i will always be kept in a locked down state.
5) Knowledge of MD’s sexual experiences. MD has made it very clear to me that Her sex life is now no longer any of my business. There may be times that She meets with a lover and does not tell me about it, or if She does, it may be after the fact. We even discussed that She has the right to go away for a weekend with one of Her lovers if She ever so chooses. Though we are married, Her body is no longer mine, but my body is completely Hers.
All of these events are milestones in my journey of total submission to MD. As each of these are experienced, more and more power is transferred to MD. Losing power to MD though is not something i dread, in fact i relish it. Control is always something i have driven by; to be in control of my life and any given situation i was experiencing. To go from the guy who was in control, to the one who is now controlled, has been an incredible journey so far, but one i wouldn’t trade for anything in this world.
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.