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8/16/15:There are many marriages and relationships that are FLR or WLM’s that don’t involve cuckolding, probably the majority. There are also many cuckolding marriages that are not into being a WLM. We have found that being both a cuckolding marriage and WLM works best for us. i love having MD as the leader of my life and marriage, as well as the fact that She also has various lovers. Why i think it works for us, is that we have two rules; 1) It is all driven by Her. 2) We always discuss where we are at and agree never let it become a threat to us. Though these rules seem simple enough, they haven’t always been that easy, especially for me. When MD started cuckolding me again, a little over a year ago, it was with the understanding it would be about Her pleasure and not my sexual gratification. Early on, i often encouraged and pressured MD to play with other guys and She resented it. This time, i committed that this was about Her and our WLM. It has taken some time to build up MD’s trust in this respect, but i really am trying to make sure i don’t apply pressure on Her to play with anyone. Though there is still an erotic component, when i know MD is meeting another guy, it is now very different. No longer am i necessarily wanting to be a spectator or hear about all the details, but it is knowing She is enjoying Herself.
The other thing that is different this time is MD is playing with more than one person. Previous times, She would play with only one person and when it was over, She would stop for a while until She found someone new. In between guys could be a couple of months to a couple of years. Now, this week alone She has dates planned with four different guys, including tonight, with a possibility of a fifth one next weekend. Now not all of these will come through. I would say well over 50% of the time, the dates get cancelled, most of the times it is the guy who has to cancel, but occasionally it is due to a conflict MD has in meeting them. Whether it is unplanned business trips or meetings, family emergencies, car trouble, sickness or a multitude of other reasons, including cold feet on a couple of the guys, the dates often get cancelled or postponed. In the past, if a date got cancelled/postponed, i would have really been disappointed, but now it really doesn’t bother me. i may be disappointed for MD, that She missed out on some fun, but i no longer have the feeling that this will be the last opportunity for Her to play.
MD now also approaches dating other guys in a different manner. In the past, things had to be almost perfect. She had to feel like She looked great, She was feeling excellent, it was just the right guy, and even then She would often look for an excuse to cancel. Now that i am no longer pressuring Her, it is about Her enjoyment. Since this is now Her sex life, as i am no longer Her lover, MD approaches in a far more casual, comfortable manner. Now don’t get me wrong, She is still very particular in who She plays with and has to feel very comfortable with them, but no longer does everything have to be perfect. She is far more relaxed and feels that if the guy doesn’t like Her, then there are plenty that do. (No guy that ever been with Her hasn’t wanted to be with Her again though!) Where in the past generally it would have to be at night on the weekends, now She has two guys who like to come over during the day, one at lunch time about once every other week. (He would like to come over more, but between him having to babysit his grandkids and MD’s big project, about twice a month is all they can get together right now.) MD said that this fall, they will probably be able to play on at least a weekly basis. She will also play on week nights now if it works out that way.
Two of the guys MD is supposed to see this week live out of town and this too is different. We have to go to San Antonio this week for a business trip and MD is going with me. One of the guys She met for a first date the last time we were there. Unfortunately, the next day didn’t work out so since we knew that we coming back in a couple of weeks, they scheduled to play this time. The other guy MD has only talked online with, but he is planning on coming over to meet Her while we are there. The fact is if both come through or neither come through, MD will not be too disappointed. The pressure (by Her to be perfect and pressure to play by me) is gone, so now it can just be fun. The other advantage of having multiple partners is that it keeps any emotional connection to a minimum. If She was playing with the same guy two or three times a week, i think there could be some issues that could arise with any of the three people involved.
The second rule we have is that we also agree always to talk. Usually just a quick touch point before She meets another guy and always afterward, just to make sure we are both in a good place. i love being able to share a quick kiss and hug after we are alone; it says, “all is good”. We also agree to talk if we feel that someone or something is becoming a problem. On rare occasions, i have said, i don’t feel comfortable with one guy or another, but it is usually MD who will notice if a guy is becoming too emotionally involved and will call it off. Cuckolding in marriage takes communication, and we try to always make sure we have no secrets. MD has always said, that i can read any text or email She sends or receives. In fact, often times, i will draft the responses to guys for Her to approve if She is busy doing something else.
If any couple is interested in exploring cuckolding i would caution them to be very careful and talk it through for a long time before going down this road. It can definitely cause hurt feelings and put a strain on a marriage. Where MD and i are now, it is perfect for us and allows us to take our WLM to a new level. If MD didn’t have other partners, then She wouldn’t have decided to stop having sex with me. But having sex with me was causing issues with Her being in total control of the relationship. It was difficult for both of us, to in one moment for me be Her lover and then immediately afterward return to being Her sissy sub hubby. Now that we have clearly defined roles without sex “mudding the waters”, we are really getting to explore what it means for Her to be in total control. Cuckolding now is different than it was previously and i am very grateful to where we are now!
Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.