10/07/15:i reread my latest blog today and wanted to make sure that i didn’t misrepresent my desire for MD. In my last blog i said, “It seems my desire for Her has changed from desiring Her sexually to desiring to be in Her presence.” Just to be clear, i still desire MD sexually and i still lust for Her. What i was trying to say was, that since sex with MD is basically no longer an option, that my focus has changed from having sex with Her to enjoy the lust that i find being in Her presence.
Speaking of sex with MD, this coming (pun intended) Sunday night will be my last time to enjoy that ever again with MD. MD told me about seven months ago that on our anniversary this year, it would be the last time i would ever get to have sex again, (unless it is with another man.) There is one caveat to that decision, MD said when i turn 65, for my birthday, She will release me from my chastity device, and if i am able to get hard, She will allow me to have sex with Her one more time. Since that will be over 10 years from now, the odds of being able to get hard after all those years in a chastity device seems remote (which She knows!), so basically this is my last time.
MD has made reservations at a hotel for us on Sunday. i don’t know all of Her plans for us, but i have requested that for my final time with Her, that She be on top, so i can play with Her breasts when i cum. It is hard to believe that Sunday will be my final time inside Her. To never again feel the power and pleasure of Her p*ssy is hard to fathom. We have been lovers for over 18 years and Sunday night, that chapter closes and a new one opens.
i have no doubt that MD’s decision is final. MD doesn’t make rash decisions and once She has thought through things and makes Her mind up, She is then committed to seeing something through. It is Her expectation that i will now remain chaste. She has told me that besides not having sex with Her, She doesn’t like me even getting hard, and sees no reason that i need to cum. She feels after i cum, that i lose my focus on serving Her, and it takes Her a couple of weeks to get me back to where She wants me. Though She hasn’t specifically said, i won’t ever get to cum again, i am not counting on it.
Knowing that MD will only be getting Her sexual pleasure from others is a strange thought. She has me to serve Her and others to play with, and i will officially no longer be MD’s lover after Sunday. Even realizing that thought, in some ways it will make some things easier. Knowing that this day is rapidly approaching has been somewhat tormenting. Though i can’t wait to be with Her again, i know that as soon as i start cumming, the realization will hit, that it will all be over forever. i guess starting Monday i can add “sexless hubby” as a new meaning for sh.
Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)
As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.