11/26/2015:On this great day of cooking, called Thanksgiving, i am reminded of what happened just a couple of days ago. i liken MD’s sexuality to a pot of water that you have simmering on the stove, and occasionally a bubble will come to the top, but apply just a little more heat to it and the bubbles turn into a pot of boiling water. Her sexuality is always there, simmering, but occasionally it just boils over.  
 Last weekend, i turned over in the middle of the night and MD said, “I am going to use my vibrator; take your finger and put it inside me.” Well obviously She didn’t have to tell me twice and i slid my finger in Her tight p*ssy. MD used Her vibrator to have two very intense orgasms. When She was through, MD pushed my hand away from Her, put up Her vibrator and turned over and went back to sleep, without ever saying another word to me. i wasn’t Her lover, i (my finger) was something She wanted to use for Her pleasure and that was it.

 i too rolled over, but wasn’t able to go back to sleep. The experience reminding me of the differences of MD and me. She gets to have orgasms anytime She wants and i never will again. It was amazing watching Her cum and the pleasure She experienced and knowing i won’t ever get to feel that same type of pleasure ever again. It also reminded me how lucky i am when She does share those moments with me. The vast majority of the times, when MD cums it is without me. Whether it is with Her lovers (though She has taken a break from seeing them right now) or whether it is when She uses Her vibrator, those times of Her pleasure, i am usually not around to enjoy. MD has told me that every once in a while, She will allow me to lick Her ass to please Her, but other than that and the occasional time She uses me while She plays with Her vibrator, my time enjoying watching Her cum, is now greatly diminished.

 MD is a sexual vixen; She oozes sensuality. Whether it is in a store having guys stare at Her or on our patio with me staring at Her, MD is a sex goddess. i on the other hand am Her eunuch. She has decided that i no longer need to experience sexual pleasure that that is reserved only for Her and Her lovers. As we were coming to the date when i would get to experience my last orgasm, i wondered what it would be like “on the other side”, once it was final. The reality is now that it has passed, it has been very calming in many ways. (Though i still try to get hard wearing my chastity cage on occasion, which is painful, and amusing to MD.) i rarely think about sex or getting to cum since i know it isn’t going to happen. MD too hasn’t seem to have had second thoughts, in fact, She seems very pleased and firm with Her decision.  

 This Thanksgiving i am so very thankful for what i have, and not concerned with what i no longer have. i am lucky to be the sh to MD. Though two years ago, this lifestyle would not have been something i would have imagined, i could not imagine now going back. Thank you MD for your guidance and leadership to this spot, and can’t wait to where you lead us in the years ahead