12/26/2015:

When we started this WLM journey almost twenty months ago, i had no idea where we were headed. i knew that i wanted to surrender to MD’s lead and i promised to follow Her. At times, MD told me that She couldn’t tell me where we were headed; i had to discover it along the way. She has always been ahead, leading and directing me to what She desired. i feel like i am at that stage again. She hasn’t told me what She is doing, but i have noticed a major difference lately. We moved from having sex often, to only occasionally and then once a year and finally no sex at all. We moved from me getting to cum often, to occasionally and now to never again. MD used to require me to orally service Her often a couple of times a day, to only occasionally, then told i am only allowed to lick Her ass (only Her lovers are allowed to lick Her p*ssy) and even that She hasn’t allowed me to do in well over a month. MD still uses Her vibrator to cum, but usually when i am not around. 

i believe MD is helping me understand that i will no longer be allowed any sexual gratification. She knows that i love to lick Her, so i am wondering if She is not allowing me now to do that, as Her way of training me to understand that it is not for my sexual pleasure only Hers. MD is the only one who should enjoy any sexual gratification, and if i am to be allowed to participate at all, it should only be to provide Her pleasure, and not to expect it for my pleasure.

 The interesting thing is that this only makes me lust MD even more. i go to bed thinking of Her and wanting to touch Her and wake up in the same manner. She is the most exciting woman i can imagine. The more She denies me, the more i desire Her. But, it is not the same type of lust. i don’t imagine having sex with MD, but i can’t keep my hands off Her. My desire is to want to touch and cuddle, to be in Her presence.  

 Being locked up in chastity and not even being allowed to get hard for almost two months is helping me understand my role. i really am a eunuch. Not only no sex, but i am losing the right to have any sexual gratification. She is taking one desire and transforming it into something even better. i love being MD’s sissy, cuckold, chastity submissive who’s lust for his Wife is ever growing