2/14/2016:Men think about sex a lot. (Incredible revelation right?!) Valentine’s Day has always been one of the three “sex days” that men think are pretty well givens (unless they seriously screw up). The other two are their birthday and anniversary. While Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a day of romance, most guys equate romance with sex. That is why Valentine’s Day for me the past two years is very different. i KNOW i am not getting sex today (or any other day for that matter). This weekend is a reflection of romance and realizing how lucky i am to have found who and what i really need.Realizing how far i have come in the past couple of years is amazing to me. i loved having sex with MD. i thought about it all the time. Now that activity is no longer an option, the thought processes change as well. It is no longer what can i do to get sex, it is how can i experience intimacy with MD? As MD has removed the option of me experiencing Her sexually more and more, my sexual energy is refocused in different ways. i believe MD finds a great sexual satisfaction from denying me. Not only has She denied me sex, but i am very rarely allowed to have any sexual contact with Her or even look at Her naked. She has already told me that licking Her ass will be my only form of sexual release with Her, but even that is on a very limited basis. She does not need me for Her sexual gratification and i believe She loves withholding any sexual pleasure from me.
This is different from the wives who lose interest in sex and really don’t care about their husband’s sexual desires. (This is the case of one of MD’s current lovers.) MD has a great sexual desire, but She loves the power of control over me. She tells me She loves knowing that i lust for Her and can’t do anything about it. She loves knowing that i am locked up in a chastity cage and i have no hope for an orgasm. But where She gets off on being in control, i get off to being controlled. While most guys would never admit that they would love to be in permanent chastity, i have to admit, there is something incredibly erotic about it. Knowing that MD is permanently denying me release is incredibly sexy in its own weird and warped way.
Also, knowing that i have to “pay” for the privilege of touching MD is incredibly humiliating. Just to hold Her breast last week cost me half a week’s allowance (but well worth it!) Though MD may receive pleasure in me licking Her, there is a sense of a loss of power She experiences when She allows me the freedom to enjoy Her. It has been said that everything is about sex, except sex, and it is about power. In our relationship sex is power and MD has all of the power. i guess the old adage may be right, “you have to pay to play”. Why should She allow me the pleasure of getting to lick Her ass, when She can make me pay for it in some way to add to Her ever increasing power over me?
Though not a traditional Valentine’s Day lover’s desire, my desire is to be MD’s chaste sissy sub. Though i loved being Her lover, i never want to lose the intimacy we have now over sex. Sometimes denial is better than receiving. Happy Valentine’s Day.