Yesterday morning i was standing in front of MD and was wearing a pink nightgown, a pink robe and a pair of pink fuzzy slippers, all of which MD had given me. After i walked away i thought, wow, a lot has changed in the past couple of years. When i think back to when we started down the road in a WLM, i had no idea where it would lead. The one thing i have learned is that the fantasy of a WLM is much different than reality. In the fantasy world, your “partner” does exactly what you want them to do to you, in reality it is the exact opposite, you have to learn that it is really all about what She wants. This is i have learned that MD wants from me.
1) She wants me to obey – Not only does MD have rules that i am responsible to follow, e.g., open the car door for Her, ask permission to go “potty”, wear a diaper when i go somewhere by myself. MD also has expectations that i will do whatever She says without complaining or arguing. It is not just doing what you are told, but learning to do it always with the correct attitude. Sometimes, though i may do what i am told, i don’t have the right attitude. i believe i still have a long way to go in learning how to obey.
2) She wants me to be femme – MD expects me to be femme as much as possible. Not only in what i wear underneath my clothes, but also when i am home, what i wear around the house. Most days i put on lipstick after i know we are not going out any more. If we are not going back outside, i will wear either a dress or gown depending on how late it is. In the past two years, i have gone from finding wearing femme clothes as being “erotic” to now being comfortable. My favorite thing to wear when i come home is a pink cotton dress. Not only does it feel comfortable wearing it, it is relaxing. i am very thankful that MD is teaching me to embrace my femininity.
3) She wants me to be sexless – When we started a WLM, i thought i would just be sexually submissive to MD. i had no idea, that less than two years later, i would become “sexless”. MD has decided that not only does She not want me to experience sex with Her again, but also have no more orgasms and no more erections with the help of my chastity device. (Though my Queens Keep chastity cage is currently being modified). MD does like to tease me about my state though. The other day, we were going down a bumpy road and MD pulled down Her top so i could see Her boobs bounce. She loves the power of knowing that i lust for Her, but i have absolutely no outlet to do anything about it.
4) She wants me to feel powerless – In the WLM contract She wrote and i signed, it says that MD has complete power to make any and all decisions. i agreed that MD is superior to me and that i have no rights to make any decisions unless She deems me that right. Before our WLM, we were equal partners, though i was often submissive to Her. Now, we no longer have a partnership, but a “Queendom”. She is the ruler and i am only allowed a say when She allows it. i can only spend money when She allows it unless it is my allowance. i can’t go anywhere without Her permission. MD has complete freedom to do whatever She wants, where i have no freedom and must seek Her permission in whatever i do.
All WLMs are different. Some don’t use chastity. Many don’t use cuckolding or sexual abstinence for him. We recognize that we seem “extreme” too many, (though it doesn’t really seem that extreme to us.) We are not advocating that our WLM is right for anyone else. Though this is not what i dreamed when we began, i couldn’t imagine it any other way now. For a WLM to work, it really must be “What She Wants.”