01/18/2016:

Last week i had a meeting in another city and it was one of those days where it was fly in and fly out. I had to get up at 3:30 am to get the airport on time and didn’t get home until almost 8:30 that evening. As you can imagine i was exhausted. When i walked into the house, all the dishes were still in the sink for me to do, there was toilet paper to put on the holder and there were several other projects i had to finish before i could come to bed. MD gave me a hug when i came in and we talked a minute. She then said that She was going to go get in the bed and i was to bring Her a drink before starting the dishes. MD knew i was tired, but that was not Her problem. i have things that i am to do every day around the house and it is my responsibility to finish them. 

i finished my last blog with the sentence; “Her authority is amazing”. It is hard to describe what it feels like to be under the complete and absolute authority of another person. MD has total control over me; i have to do whatever She tells me. i know there are people reading this and say that this can’t be true, but if i was to blatantly disobey or refuse to obey Her any longer, MD has the legal right to kick me out of the house without anything to my name. i have already signed all my property rights over to Her. So, i am basically broke and She owns everything. There has to be a lot of trust to live in a relationship like this and i do trust MD with my life. But it is also clear that She expects me to obey Her in whatever She says and it is not going to get any easier as we go along. In fact, MD told me a couple of weeks ago that She was going to become even stricter and more demanding on me this coming year.  

Last weekend, MD wanted us to take a nap before going out that night. i took off my blouse and pants and got into bed wearing just my panties and a bra. MD told me to get up and go get my pink gown on and come back to bed. It is a little thing like this that shows Her desires are to be met. She has told me before that sissy boys need to wear gowns to bed, preferably pink and even though i was in a bra and panties, i was not doing what i had been told.  

i have read that some women get involved in a WLM or FLR (Female Led Relationship) and they tire of it after a while – not MD! She tells me that She absolutely loves being in control and only wishes we had started it sooner. My life will forever be under the total control and authority of MD and i am very lucky!

01/17/2016:The other evening MD was having trouble going to sleep. She had a meeting the next morning and was having difficulty “shutting down”. i suggested that She might consider using Her vibrator. She thought about it for a few seconds and then She told me to turn over and face the wall. MD got out Her vibrator and began to play with it and it wasn’t long before She came very hard. MD turned off the vibrator, put it up, turned over and went right to sleep. 
The first thing about that experience was that MD didn’t want me to participate at all. i wasn’t to look or speak to Her and She never even acknowledged me. The second thing though was that i was surprised that i didn’t try to get hard while listening to Her cum. Since i am in a chastity cage, i can’t get truly hard, but i didn’t even start to get aroused. As She was sleeping i was trying to figure it out, since i have always got excited when MD cums. What i finally realized, was that i felt a bit guilty and embarrassed lying there while She was cumming, because MD’s sex life is no longer any of my business. MD’s sexual pleasure is Her private business and i have no right to be included unless She so chooses.

My sexual pleasure is now limited to just lusting after MD. Last night, She told me that we were going to our neighbor bar. She put on a short dress, no panties, no bra and looked incredibly sexy. i so much wanted to touch Her and enjoy Her body and She knows that. She loves to see the lust in my eyes, knowing that i no longer can do anything about it but other men can. It is amazing lying in bed last night again realizing i will never be allowed another erection. i know there are lots of men who are impotent, but most of them face this due to injury or disease. In my case i am impotent because MD finds it disrespectful to Her authority over me and decided that i shall remain locked in a chastity cage. MD enjoys seeing me locked up and since i am no longer allowed to have sex or cum again, there is no reason for me to be hard.

 It is an incredible torture to have this amazingly sexy and beautiful women in bed with me and know that Her body is off limits to me. Her authority is amazing

12/26/2015:

When we started this WLM journey almost twenty months ago, i had no idea where we were headed. i knew that i wanted to surrender to MD’s lead and i promised to follow Her. At times, MD told me that She couldn’t tell me where we were headed; i had to discover it along the way. She has always been ahead, leading and directing me to what She desired. i feel like i am at that stage again. She hasn’t told me what She is doing, but i have noticed a major difference lately. We moved from having sex often, to only occasionally and then once a year and finally no sex at all. We moved from me getting to cum often, to occasionally and now to never again. MD used to require me to orally service Her often a couple of times a day, to only occasionally, then told i am only allowed to lick Her ass (only Her lovers are allowed to lick Her p*ssy) and even that She hasn’t allowed me to do in well over a month. MD still uses Her vibrator to cum, but usually when i am not around. 

i believe MD is helping me understand that i will no longer be allowed any sexual gratification. She knows that i love to lick Her, so i am wondering if She is not allowing me now to do that, as Her way of training me to understand that it is not for my sexual pleasure only Hers. MD is the only one who should enjoy any sexual gratification, and if i am to be allowed to participate at all, it should only be to provide Her pleasure, and not to expect it for my pleasure.

 The interesting thing is that this only makes me lust MD even more. i go to bed thinking of Her and wanting to touch Her and wake up in the same manner. She is the most exciting woman i can imagine. The more She denies me, the more i desire Her. But, it is not the same type of lust. i don’t imagine having sex with MD, but i can’t keep my hands off Her. My desire is to want to touch and cuddle, to be in Her presence.  

 Being locked up in chastity and not even being allowed to get hard for almost two months is helping me understand my role. i really am a eunuch. Not only no sex, but i am losing the right to have any sexual gratification. She is taking one desire and transforming it into something even better. i love being MD’s sissy, cuckold, chastity submissive who’s lust for his Wife is ever growing

12/05/2015: In my blog i wrote on Thanksgiving, i mentioned how thankful i was that MD has brought us to the point where we are today. After reading it, She responded, “Let me get this straight, I take away all your power, make you serve me anyway I want and will never let you have sex again and you thank me?” It does sound a bit weird, but the answer is yes!  
 i haven’t blogged as much lately, some due to work demands but some has to do with my new normal. There were a lot of emotions and thoughts running up to October and the first of November. The mental angst of realizing my last time to have sex with MD, getting the new chastity device and being marked permanently with a tattoo of Her “brand”, so i was blogging more; now it is just normal life. i have been locked up in my chastity cage over 5 weeks, with being out only one day for some healing. MD even ordered me a silicone based cage for when i travel. Since MD has said i won’t be getting any more orgasms, it is not even something i think about any longer. i wear panties and a bra every day and they are just a normal part of my wardrobe. My only sexual pleasure that MD allows is licking Her ass or putting my finger in Her p*ssy when She so desires. And though MD sleeps naked in the bed i am not allowed to look at or touch Her. These are just my normal day to day realities.

 So, the abnormal life of a husband who has no power, no money, no sex, no rights, has to dress femme and can’t even see or touch his naked wife is my normal. (This doesn’t even take into account She cuckolds me with other guys and can discipline me any time or way She wants!) Though it sounds very strange to many people, i love my new abnormal normal

11/26/2015:On this great day of cooking, called Thanksgiving, i am reminded of what happened just a couple of days ago. i liken MD’s sexuality to a pot of water that you have simmering on the stove, and occasionally a bubble will come to the top, but apply just a little more heat to it and the bubbles turn into a pot of boiling water. Her sexuality is always there, simmering, but occasionally it just boils over.  
 Last weekend, i turned over in the middle of the night and MD said, “I am going to use my vibrator; take your finger and put it inside me.” Well obviously She didn’t have to tell me twice and i slid my finger in Her tight p*ssy. MD used Her vibrator to have two very intense orgasms. When She was through, MD pushed my hand away from Her, put up Her vibrator and turned over and went back to sleep, without ever saying another word to me. i wasn’t Her lover, i (my finger) was something She wanted to use for Her pleasure and that was it.

 i too rolled over, but wasn’t able to go back to sleep. The experience reminding me of the differences of MD and me. She gets to have orgasms anytime She wants and i never will again. It was amazing watching Her cum and the pleasure She experienced and knowing i won’t ever get to feel that same type of pleasure ever again. It also reminded me how lucky i am when She does share those moments with me. The vast majority of the times, when MD cums it is without me. Whether it is with Her lovers (though She has taken a break from seeing them right now) or whether it is when She uses Her vibrator, those times of Her pleasure, i am usually not around to enjoy. MD has told me that every once in a while, She will allow me to lick Her ass to please Her, but other than that and the occasional time She uses me while She plays with Her vibrator, my time enjoying watching Her cum, is now greatly diminished.

 MD is a sexual vixen; She oozes sensuality. Whether it is in a store having guys stare at Her or on our patio with me staring at Her, MD is a sex goddess. i on the other hand am Her eunuch. She has decided that i no longer need to experience sexual pleasure that that is reserved only for Her and Her lovers. As we were coming to the date when i would get to experience my last orgasm, i wondered what it would be like “on the other side”, once it was final. The reality is now that it has passed, it has been very calming in many ways. (Though i still try to get hard wearing my chastity cage on occasion, which is painful, and amusing to MD.) i rarely think about sex or getting to cum since i know it isn’t going to happen. MD too hasn’t seem to have had second thoughts, in fact, She seems very pleased and firm with Her decision.  

 This Thanksgiving i am so very thankful for what i have, and not concerned with what i no longer have. i am lucky to be the sh to MD. Though two years ago, this lifestyle would not have been something i would have imagined, i could not imagine now going back. Thank you MD for your guidance and leadership to this spot, and can’t wait to where you lead us in the years ahead

11/19/2015:The word “baby” can be used in many different ways. It can mean:
o Child – “She just had her baby”

o Term of affection – “Hey baby”

o Term of derision – “You are just a big baby”

o Pride of Ownership – “That 65 Mustang is my baby”

​MD often calls me “My baby” and in some ways i think She is using that term in each of the ways above. MD says She doesn’t see me as an adult and i no longer have “adult” rights. The rules i have to live by are more of a small child, e.g., i have to get permission to “go potty”, and i have an early bedtime. MD likes reinforcing that though i am in my 50’s to Her i am more of a child than an adult.

 Though MD and i share an “unconventional” marriage, we are very much in love and I know of no other couple that has the kind of loving, passionate and trusting relationship that we do. Though no longer may there be sex between us, there is an incredible amount of passion. I know MD loves me and i am madly and passionately in love with Her.

 Sometimes MD will use a special tone in Her voice indicating that i am acting like a baby and just deal with it. i wouldn’t say that MD is a sadist by any means, but there are times, that MD enjoys seeing me in pain or discomfort. Whether it is making me wear 5 inch high heels, locking me in a dog kennel while She is with a lover, giving me a spanking, or slapping my dick and balls and asking if that hurts, MD enjoys tormenting me. i think MD likes me to have just a bit of fear of what She might do to me, especially if i need to be punished.

 But the most frequent use of “baby” by MD is ownership. She sees me as Her property, as well as Her responsibility. She expects me to obey Her completely and that She has every right to tell me what to do as Her sh. But at the same time, MD feels She has a responsibility, as a good owner, to take care of me and protect me as best as She can. 

 As MD’s sh it is an incredible feeling of being completely powerless and completely protected at the same time. i feel incredibly lucky at one hand and very humiliated in another. Knowing that MD has complete control over me in money, in power and sexually and that i will never again have control in those areas, makes me feel like Her baby. 

11/15/2015

They say be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. In my case i got more than i ever even imagined much less wished. i am writing this blog at a washateria while MD is getting Her nails done in another part of town. We had several loads of sheets and towels that needed bleached and MD doesn’t like the smell of bleach, so She dropped me off to wash and dry the laundry while She runs Her errands. i will just have to wait here until She gets through and comes picks me up.It is amazing to see how far we have come since we started along the path of a WLM. MD no longer feels it is necessary to ask me to do things, it is now very simply an order. When She woke up this morning, She told me to get out of bed and make Her a cup of coffee. Several times today, She has told me to do things and She feels very comfortable making me serve and obey Her. Where at first, She felt a little embarrassed about me doing all the work or waiting on Her, She now feels very comfortable having me serve Her however She wants or chooses.  

Less than two years ago, i was having regular and incredible sex with MD and now i am permanently locked in a chastity cage and last month having experienced the last time i will get to have sex with MD for at least 10 years. MD told me that She loves having me locked up and knowing that not only that i can’t cum anymore, but i can’t even get hard like Her lovers can. She told me yesterday that She loves the power and thrill of being able to lock me up and being in total control of my dick. It is thrilling to know that She has the power to tease me to frustration and there is nothing i can do about it. In addition, MD now has regulated me to licking Her ass as my way of trying to please Her sexually. She told me that Her p*ssy is off limits to me except on special occasions and that She has lovers and vibrators that She uses on Her p*ssy. MD doesn’t even allow me to see Her naked any longer, saying that is for men to enjoy. (And the occasional woman!)

Two years ago, i wore panties on occasion, but now that is all i am allowed to wear, plus a bra and when at home it is dresses, skirts, tops and tights. MD has me wear lipstick, bows and falsies, anything to make me more sissy and femme. She says She sees me as a femme sissy and that is the way She wants me to dress. (MD ordered me a new maid’s outfit.) She says that is the new me and i am expected to dress and act in that manner.

MD told me yesterday that Her worry is that in a year or so that i will come to Her and tell Her that this is only been something i have been doing to please Her and that i will want to go back to “normal”. i said, that my biggest fear is that MD will change Her mind about having total control one day and say that She was doing this only for me and that She will want to go back to the way things used to be. i found it fascinating that we both had the same worry, that the other might change their mind, because we each knew this is what we truly desire.

i absolutely love having MD being in total control. A couple of weeks ago i received a promotion and raise at work. When my first new paycheck came in, MD told me to copy it and the previous month’s paychecks and email them to Her so She could compare them and update Her budget. i didn’t even bother to look at my paycheck since all the money is deposited in Her account anyway, so it really didn’t seem to be any of my business. MD is in total control of all our finances and other than my $20/week allowance, i have no idea how much money we have or where our money goes.  

My very first thoughts of being a submissive was when i was around 8 years old and that i was taken and kept by an older and more powerful female as her slave. Now almost 50 years later that is almost exactly how my life has played out. MD is definitely more powerful than me and She keeps me as Her sissy, cuckold and chastity sh. Why in the world would i ever want to go back to our old normal? i am getting to be more than ever dreamed! 

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 17 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “sexless” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”. 

11/01/15: This past Wednesday, MD received a package. When She saw who it was from, She became excited and told me to help Her open the package. She pulled out a red velvet container and opened it up to find a Queen’s Keep chastity cage from Mature Metal that She ordered a few months ago (maturemetal.com). It had taken a little longer than She had expected, as they had had a backlog of orders and mine was one of those that was “back ordered”. MD told me to put on the cage and lock it. (MD ordered it with a security key so it wasn’t a regular lock.) 
i put on the cage and tightened the security screw and it was complete; i was now locked up. MD and i have used different chastity cages for several years. We started with the CB2000 and have used various versions since then. One of the major difference between the previous cages and this one is the customization. The others were “off the shelf” devices, where this one is “custom made”. i put it on and immediately felt the difference in the fit and quality of the device. It was light and comfortable, but also was very restrictive on my “excitement level”. This was the difference between “amateur” and “professional” grade.   

Not only was there a difference between the types of devices we have used in the past, but the major difference was the expectation. Previously MD had used the 3 month mark as the barometer of my usual lock in period. i had been kept between 90-95 days on three different occasions before She unlocked me and i was allowed release. MD has different expectations now. It is no longer a time period where i will be locked up before my next release. Now, i will only be released if absolutely necessary. MD has told me that She has no desire to ever release me. i will be allowed only to be release for certain doctor visits and when i travel on an airplanes. Her expectation is that i will always be forever locked up and if unlocked, it will be for a short, definite reason.  

MD used to lock me up to create a sexual tension; i am now locked up because She doesn’t believe i need to cum or be hard; and that is a major distinction. i use to know that when i was locked up, there was going to be a “release” point where MD would allow me to cum. i now know, that i am in a permeant chastity state and MD had no desire or interest in letting me have a release. It is amazing to know that MD is good without me every getting to cum or get hard again. She loves having me as Her “eunuch” and as such my sexual desires are of no interest of Hers. Though She may play with me to get me excited for Her amusement, the idea of allowing me to enjoy that release, is of no interest to Her. i am now Her sexless eunuch and that is what She has told me that She has desired for the past year. 

Though the Queen’s Keep is incredibly comfortable for long term wear, i have to admit, it is incredibly frustrating to wake up in the middle of the night, trying to get erect and finding out that is now no longer possible. i now no longer have any sexual freedoms, i am just a little sexual slave to my MD. Where i used to have at least the freedom to get an erection thinking about being with MD that is no longer the case. i am just Her little sissy sub, who can’t get an erection and as far as She is concerned that will be true for the rest of my life.   

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 17 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “sexless” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

10/18/15:My last time for sex with MD was supposed to be last Sunday the 11th, but it didn’t go according to plan. We got to the hotel early that afternoon and we were going to do some running around, come back the hotel and change and then go to dinner. When we got back from dinner we were to “celebrate” my last time with MD. Since MD wanted me to last a while, She told me before we went out to go jack off in the bathroom. Since it had been a while since She had let me cum, the chance to have two orgasms in the same night sounded incredible. Unfortunately, after obeying MD and cuming that afternoon, my “performance” was very not good later that night. Thankfully, MD said i could have one more try over the next week. 

On Friday, i asked Her if we could try again after we went out that night. MD agreed and we went to a club where we had a few drinks and danced. Once we got back, we were tired and it was late so we postponed until Saturday. Saturday morning i woke up and wanted to play with MD. She was still sleeping so i waited until She started stirring and asked if we could play that morning. MD was a bit reluctant at first but then She got up from bed and put on a very sexy nightie and climbed back in bed with me. She first allowed me to play with and suck Her breasts which is always exciting. i was then allowed to lick Her to an orgasm. Instead of climbing inside Her right then, i reached into Her drawer and got Her favorite vibrator and asked if i could watch Her cum again. MD smiled and said yes. i kneeled between Her legs and put my finger inside MD while She began using the vibrator. It was amazing just to watch Her face as She drew deeper and deeper into the moment. In a couple of minutes, i watched MD have a very powerful orgasm and that is all i needed to want to finish up.

i climbed in between MD’s legs and slowly slipped inside Her. It was incredible! i slowly moved in and out of Her, but between my normal “quick release” and watching MD’s erotic orgasm, my tension quickly built. i knew i wasn’t going to last much longer, so i got off MD and turned over on my back. MD climbed on top of me and began to slip me inside Her. i asked MD if this was the last time i was going to be insider Her p*ssy and She said, “Well for at least 10 year and it may well be the last time you are even hard again.” When She said that i had one of the most intense orgasms of my life. It was an incredible mind fuck to hear Her say that while She smiled down at me Her tight p*ssy clinching my dick. After i finally calmed down a bit, MD had me slip down further in the bed and She climbed on my face and i licked my cum out of Her p*ssy for the last time.

The rest of the day was almost a euphoric high. All the emotions i felt leading up to and then immediately preceding having sex with MD was the exact opposite i thought i would have if we had discussed this 2 years ago. Instead of being depressed, there is almost a relief. Once you come to the end of the road in one direction, it is exciting to start a new journey in another direction. i don’t need sex with MD to enjoy an incredible amount of intimacy between us. Though She is an incredible lover, She is even a better MD. i love being able to submit to Her and become what She desires. Having sex with Her inhibits that growth and to give that up means i am going to experience Her in even a deeper way.  

i know there will be times i will still desire release and i am sure MD will continue to torture me with teasing and denying me. The desire for Her will never go away, but knowing that is no longer an option, is in some ways very freeing. The reason i wanted MD to use Her vibrator before i got inside Her was that i wanted to watch one more time, Her experiencing great sexual release. She now is the only one of us who will continue to enjoy that experience. My time for enjoying that is over. i am now simply Her sh, the one to supply Her with fresh batteries, get the house prepared for Her lovers, and when allowed be available to use my fingers or tongue as a sexual aide to Her. Though the days of being MD’s lover are now over, getting to be MD’s eunuch have just started. One journey ends, and another one begins. 

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 17 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “sexless” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.