8/30/15:Yesterday morning i had a great glimpse of my future life. MD and i were cuddling in bed and i had my leg between Hers, with my arm across Her stomach. She began to rock Her hips back and forth and then grabbed my hand and put it against Her breast telling me, “My breasts are needy little bitches, they need some attention.” Let’s just say She didn’t have to ask me twice. i began massaging MD’s breasts and playing with Her nipples. i told Her that i was hoping to make Her p*ssy jealous so she too wanted some attention. MD said, that Her p*ssy was “the neediest bitch of all.” A few minutes later MD grabbed Her vibrator, and told me She wanted to use my finger. She had me put my middle finger in Her p*ssy and my ring finger against Her tight little asshole and held Her breast for me to begin sucking. She turned on Her vibrator and begin to play with Herself. It wasn’t too long that i could tell that Her breath was beginning to get fast and shallow which means She was getting close. i sucked a little harder and went a little faster with my finger and MD exploded with a very nice sounding orgasm. i stopped stimulating Her, and waited for Her to come down a bit before i removed my finger and then took my lips from Her breasts. All She said was “good boy”.  Once MD came down from Her orgasmic high, She told me She wanted some coffee. i got out of bed and made Her a cup of coffee and then laid down beside Her feet. i began to rub on them and She said, “you can go get the massage lotion and oil and do my feet while I drink my coffee.” i quickly obliged and got the oil and massage lotion i use on Her feet and She laid there drinking Her coffee and responding to emails, (which i discovered were emails/texts to several of Her lovers). Once i was through massaging Her feet, MD had me go fix Her breakfast and then we began our day.

The difference now from a couple of years ago is that MD has no expectations of sexually pleasing me. She didn’t touch me, She didn’t acknowledge me, i am Her play toy and is only needed for Her sexual pleasure. Friday night, while we were swimming, (Her naked, me in my bikini bottoms), MD told me that She saw my erections as being disrespectful of our relationship and that is why She is looking forward to having me in my chastity cage. So today was Her way of showing, that from now on, i will be only used to pleasure Her, and She has no interest in showing me any attention while i do so. i am Her eunuch, serving Her without any need or expectation of any sexual attention.  

It is amazing to realize that all i am now is only a sexual toy for Her to use. She has several lovers that She will use to be Her sexual partners, i am only a finger and mouth when She needs. Speaking of, MD. She has play dates on Monday with “D” and “M” on Tuesday. There is a slight chance that “Jody” will come over today but it will depend on whether or not his daughter will be coming over. Today, MD told me my job is to be Her “SoS”; Secretary of Sex. i am now responsible to keep up with Her calendar of dates and any other information about them that She needs.

My life is pretty clear going forward. i am MD’s sexual toy when She desires. i no longer have sexual needs or expectations. She loves that i am sexually frustrated and will do whatever possible to exploit it, but has no concern that i have a desire for any release. She finds my cums an incredible inconvenience and as She noted, it takes at least two weeks every time i cum to get me back in the right “sub place” and She shouldn’t have to deal with that. She is the Masteress, why should She be inconvenienced for a couple of weeks for 10 seconds of pleasure for me? The answer is obviously She shouldn’t, so the natural conclusion is that i will pleasure Her and She will only T&D me for at least the next 10 years.   

What i find incredible is that there are many guys who would love to be in my shoes. i realize that, and know that i am the luckiest SOB in the world. Though Her body is reserved sexually for other guys, i am the one who gets to hold Her when we get in bed at the end of the day!  

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/28/15:In my previous blog, i said i was “a sissy, submissive (and soon to be sexless) hubby to MD”. MD asked how it felt to type that sentence. In reality the sexless*, though a strange realization, is not the hardest thing to come to comprehend. The hardest part (pun intended), is realizing i won’t be ever have an erection again. MD has stated for over a year that not only does She not want me to sex, but She doesn’t want me even to get hard, to the point of saying if there was a pill that i could take that had no side effects, other than not allow me to get an erection, She would have me take it. So other than surgery, the next best option is a short tubed chastity cage which doesn’t allow it. Most guys who wear chastity cages (and i read that there are over a million sold every year, so there are lots who do), wear them for a specific time period, until they are released to either have sex or masturbate again. So far, i have only read of a one guy who say he is in a “permanent” state of denial like i will be soon. (i think MD would love to get me trained to a point where erections are impossible even if i wasn’t in a chastity cage.)This though, is where the true Domme nature of MD comes through; She doesn’t want me to have the “manliness” of an erection, She does wants me sexually frustrated. (Sort of like the difference between a penoctomy and castration. With castration, you lose your sexual desire, with a penoctomy you still have the desire but can’t do anything about it.) i am to be Her sissy sub to the point of not even being able to get hard, even though She is continually going to tease me. It would be one thing to lock me up and then never pay attention to me sexually at all, but to constantly be “tempted” and not be able to do anything about is something that is going to be incredibly difficult. The only analogy i can think of is, being the owner of restaurant where you have the most amazing chef who creates some of the most incredible dishes that you have ever tasted. Then one day, you have to have your jaw permanently wired shut and every day for the rest of your life you are watching others enjoy the amazing food that is coming out of the kitchen but yet you have to sip your meals through a straw. In my case, there are going to be others who will enjoy the sexual splendor of MD, but it won’t be me. After October 10th, i will never again experience one of Her incredible blow jobs, feel the tightness, warmth and wetness of Her p*ssy, or even have Her hand on my hard d*ck. In fact after that date, i won’t even be able to touch my own dick without it being encased inside a steel cage. (If you are reading this and a man, think how many times you touch your own dick in a day; now imagine never touching it again.)

i have read that for some men who experience ED, that one of the major issues they deal with is the loss of their feeling like a “man”. For some reason, guys take pride in being able to “get it up”. Knowing that soon that will not happen any longer is a very strange thought. Even in saying all that, i realize that i will probably become a much better sissy sub to MD. Every time MD institutes something new, such as wearing lipstick, wearing a bra, or shaving my legs, i find myself diving deeper into being Her sh. And so far, everything She has required me to do or give up has been worth it ten times over. Will i miss getting hard, getting to feel MD’s body, and even cumming – Yes! But at the same time, i feel that this will make me even a more focused and subservient sh to MD, and i long for that even more.

* One caveat to the never having sex again, MD did say that on my 65th Birthday She will allow me to have sex with Her, so only 10 years to wait. Again, the deviousness of MD, knowing that i am going to be chaste for 10 years and the whole time wondering if i can even get it up by then!

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/27/15:Yesterday i went femme clothes shopping at lunch. It was one of the few days in these past couple of months that i haven’t had lunch meetings at work and MD suggested i go take a break and get coffee. She also said i could go into a couple of stores, if i had the time, as long as i texted where i was and when i left. After stopping at the pet store for some treats for our dogs, i decided to go to Ross’s, which is a discount clothes/home accessories store, which was across the street from a Starbucks. MD is not a big shopper, especially clothes, and when we do go, i am the one who does most of the browsing and picks out most of the things for MD to try on or purchase. This time though i was looking for clothes for me. It was actually very relaxing and fun to walk up and down the racks of clothes looking for things for me to wear. i ended up picking out a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, a top and a dress and paid for them with my allowance money. i texted MD that i was leaving the store and told Her that i would model what i bought when i got home. i have to admit i was a bit nervous when i got home to show MD what i bought. Even though MD requires me to dress as a sissy, it is still a bit embarrassing that i have embraced it so much. In fact, we have family coming to visit in a couple of weeks, and i am already dreading that i won’t be able to wear any of my femme clothes while they are here. As soon as i got home, MD smiled and asked when i was going to model the clothes for Her. i changed out of my suit and put the dress on first. MD was going to help zip up the back when She noticed the zipper was broke, so that one has to go back. (Lesson here, check zippers and other closures before purchases!) i then put on the yoga pants and sports bra, in which MD said i looked cute. i then began helping MD get ready for dinner so i held off putting the black top on until we were through, as i didn’t want to get it dirty. After we finished, i then tried on the black top and MD really seemed to like it. It would probably be a style She would wear. (Since i am working at home today, i am actually wearing the sports bra and yoga pants as i write this blog.)  

i have to admit that going femme clothes shopping was fun. i enjoyed looking at the different styles and wondering what would be fun to wear and what MD would think of it. There were some panties i almost bought, but i really don’t need any more panties as the moment, plus knowing that the purchases were coming out of my allowance, i was looking at mostly sale and clearance items. Though it is still taking a bit of adjustment to realize that i will be wearing femme clothes the rest of my life, it is also very liberating in a way. i was always told, dress for the job you want to hold; if you desire to be an executive, dress like one now, don’t wait until you get the promotion. How you dress reflects how you see yourself, and being dressed as a sissy, reinforces that is who i am now. It is no longer something i do, it is now the new me. i am a sissy, submissive (and soon to be sexless) hubby to MD, and i couldn’t be happier.

Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/26/15:Yesterday, MD had me run get us breakfast at a restaurant a few miles away while She slept i put on my diaper (since i was going somewhere alone other than work), my bra, along with my workout shorts and a t-shirt and went to get breakfast and coffee. Having to wear a bra and diaper out in public is an incredibly emasculating feeling. It touches at both being a sissy (bra) and being powerless (made to wear a diaper). When i got home and served MD breakfast, i asked Her if She wanted me to remain in a diaper or put on my panties. MD instructed me to wear my panties. Since i was working from home yesterday, i put on ruffled pink panties, a dress and along with my bra, i put in my fake breasts and that is what i wore the rest of the day. i imagine that the people on the conference calls i was on all day, would have been shocked to know how i was dressed on the other end of the line. If it wasn’t for kids and the fact we live in Texas (very conservative!), i believe MD would make me wear my femme clothes even in public. She loves having me dressed as a sissy. If we come back from town, the first thing i am to do is get a skirt or dress on when we get home. She is always enforcing that my role is no longer “the man of the house”, as She is now in charge. She recently bought me a new iPhone case as my old one had worn out. On the cover of it She had engraved “235”, which stands for “My sub sissy” as a reminder of who (and whose) i am. MD told me that this fall She is going to take me to a nail salon and get me a pedicure and have my toenails done in bright pink for fun.

 It is hard to put into words the feeling of being so powerless as MD’s sh. MD has total control and i must obey Her. Whether it is going getting Her breakfast, dressing as a sissy, or having to get out of bed so Her lover can come over in the mornings, it is all part of the power, pleasure and control of MD. The fact is, in the almost 18 years we have been together, i have never seen Her more confident, radiant or excited about life. She loves being in total control and it shows. i on the other hand have never been more at peace and excited at our future. i couldn’t have imagined we would have been at this point two years ago, but i wouldn’t go back for anything. Being MD’s sissy sub hubby is all i desire now.

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/25/15:MD was supposed to go out on a date and then head back to his hotel room with “M” last night, but his boss decided that he wanted to go to dinner with his senior staff, so their date had to be cancelled. i don’t think MD was too upset since where he was staying for the conference he is attending, is about an hour away and She was already a bit tired from our trip last week. She texted me yesterday and said, “Which time would work best on Friday to make sure the house is company ready, 6:30 am or 11:00 am?” i told Her either would be fine, but i have to admit the 6:30 was a bit of a surprise. It seems “M” can come by on his way to work or leave work early for lunch on Friday to see MD. When MD asked me about 6:30, i have to admit there was something very erotic about it to me; i am having to get out of my bed so another man can come get in it to please my wife. It almost sounds like a tag team wrestling match, where you tag in to take another guys place. i began to wonder if MD would even get out of bed or just wait for Her lover to join Her where Her sub sissy hubby was sleeping beside Her just a few minutes before? Will MD stay nude for him since that is the way She normally sleeps? Whether any of this comes to fruition, i don’t know, but it was a bit of a “wow” moment yesterday afternoon. MD is still full of sexy surprises! Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/24/15:What an amazing week it was last week. It started with MD having a new lover “R” and ended at a swinger’s club in Austin. Last Sunday evening, “R” came over to the house and i met him outside. We had previously met when MD had a first date with him at Starbucks. We talked a second and then i told him that MD was waiting on him and he knocked on the door and went inside. While they played, i cooked us dinner outside on the grill. About 45 minutes later, they came out,(MD had a smile on Her face), and i got “R” a beer, and MD a martini and we all ate burgers and grilled corn. Once we were finished dinner, i cleaned up while they continued to talk. As he was about to leave for the evening, MD stopped and kissed him. i think he was a little unsure about kissing Her in front of me at first, but he quickly got over it. i have no doubt that MD will be seeing him again soon.   On Wednesday we headed to San Antonio. MD was supposed to meet a software developer there that afternoon that She met previously, but unfortunately She had a couple of meetings for work that came up that She had to call into. They rescheduled for the next day, but he too had to cancel because of his work. MD also met another guy on a first date while there. They had talked online and texted and MD had found him funny, but when he showed up, She wasn’t nearly as impressed. He came across like a “used car salesman” and MD didn’t want to pursue it any further. So out of the original four possible “play dates” last week, (MD was planning on seeing “D” on Monday or Tuesday but that didn’t work out either), only one came through, which is about average.  

 After my meeting ended on Friday, we drove to Austin and decided to go to a swingers club there. We had been there once previously and had enjoyed it. Since it was Friday night, it was not very crowded, probably about 10 couples and one single male. We started by inviting the single male to join us and MD had a good time talking to him. Two additional couples joined us and MD and the other women went and danced. What a hell of a show they put on! One of the women ended up naked and MD’s dress was open and Her breasts were being played with while She played with the naked woman’s boobs. After they all came back to the table, someone asked about our lifestyle and MD began to describe our situation to them. One of the ladies was blown away. She asked me, it i really couldn’t have sex any longer and i said yes. MD was telling the other couples about Her different lovers and even told them about “J” or Jody and his 11” dick. (i knew She said it was large, but wow! She had never told me his actual length. In fact i decided my dick should be now called “Jo”, since it is only half his size!) Though MD didn’t feel like having sex with anyone that night at the club, She did say She was fingered by four different people. i didn’t ask how many people She felt up.

 i think what amazed me most this past week, was the total control MD showed all week. Whether it was playing with a new lover or deciding whether She didn’t want to play with the others, it was always about Her. She admitted if we had gone to the club a couple of years ago, She would have probably played with the guy who was interested in Her because She knew i would have loved to watch Her. Now though, it doesn’t matter, it is only Her pleasure that is important. In the past few days, MD has used Her vibrator twice while we laid in bed. Though She often uses Her vibrators during the day, it is exciting to be there next to Her and listen to Her cum. There is such a sense of power that She can cum whenever or however She wants and that is no longer available to me. i can’t imagine now not living under MD’s control. i love the confidence and power She exudes now days, it is an incredible rush.

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

MD

8/16/15:There are many marriages and relationships that are FLR or WLM’s that don’t involve cuckolding, probably the majority. There are also many cuckolding marriages that are not into being a WLM. We have found that being both a cuckolding marriage and WLM works best for us. i love having MD as the leader of my life and marriage, as well as the fact that She also has various lovers. Why i think it works for us, is that we have two rules; 1) It is all driven by Her. 2) We always discuss where we are at and agree never let it become a threat to us. Though these rules seem simple enough, they haven’t always been that easy, especially for me. When MD started cuckolding me again, a little over a year ago, it was with the understanding it would be about Her pleasure and not my sexual gratification. Early on, i often encouraged and pressured MD to play with other guys and She resented it. This time, i committed that this was about Her and our WLM. It has taken some time to build up MD’s trust in this respect, but i really am trying to make sure i don’t apply pressure on Her to play with anyone. Though there is still an erotic component, when i know MD is meeting another guy, it is now very different. No longer am i necessarily wanting to be a spectator or hear about all the details, but it is knowing She is enjoying Herself.  

 The other thing that is different this time is MD is playing with more than one person. Previous times, She would play with only one person and when it was over, She would stop for a while until She found someone new. In between guys could be a couple of months to a couple of years. Now, this week alone She has dates planned with four different guys, including tonight, with a possibility of a fifth one next weekend. Now not all of these will come through. I would say well over 50% of the time, the dates get cancelled, most of the times it is the guy who has to cancel, but occasionally it is due to a conflict MD has in meeting them. Whether it is unplanned business trips or meetings, family emergencies, car trouble, sickness or a multitude of other reasons, including cold feet on a couple of the guys, the dates often get cancelled or postponed. In the past, if a date got cancelled/postponed, i would have really been disappointed, but now it really doesn’t bother me. i may be disappointed for MD, that She missed out on some fun, but i no longer have the feeling that this will be the last opportunity for Her to play.  

 MD now also approaches dating other guys in a different manner. In the past, things had to be almost perfect. She had to feel like She looked great, She was feeling excellent, it was just the right guy, and even then She would often look for an excuse to cancel. Now that i am no longer pressuring Her, it is about Her enjoyment. Since this is now Her sex life, as i am no longer Her lover, MD approaches in a far more casual, comfortable manner. Now don’t get me wrong, She is still very particular in who She plays with and has to feel very comfortable with them, but no longer does everything have to be perfect. She is far more relaxed and feels that if the guy doesn’t like Her, then there are plenty that do. (No guy that ever been with Her hasn’t wanted to be with Her again though!) Where in the past generally it would have to be at night on the weekends, now She has two guys who like to come over during the day, one at lunch time about once every other week. (He would like to come over more, but between him having to babysit his grandkids and MD’s big project, about twice a month is all they can get together right now.) MD said that this fall, they will probably be able to play on at least a weekly basis. She will also play on week nights now if it works out that way.

 Two of the guys MD is supposed to see this week live out of town and this too is different. We have to go to San Antonio this week for a business trip and MD is going with me. One of the guys She met for a first date the last time we were there. Unfortunately, the next day didn’t work out so since we knew that we coming back in a couple of weeks, they scheduled to play this time. The other guy MD has only talked online with, but he is planning on coming over to meet Her while we are there. The fact is if both come through or neither come through, MD will not be too disappointed. The pressure (by Her to be perfect and pressure to play by me) is gone, so now it can just be fun. The other advantage of having multiple partners is that it keeps any emotional connection to a minimum. If She was playing with the same guy two or three times a week, i think there could be some issues that could arise with any of the three people involved.  

 The second rule we have is that we also agree always to talk. Usually just a quick touch point before She meets another guy and always afterward, just to make sure we are both in a good place. i love being able to share a quick kiss and hug after we are alone; it says, “all is good”. We also agree to talk if we feel that someone or something is becoming a problem. On rare occasions, i have said, i don’t feel comfortable with one guy or another, but it is usually MD who will notice if a guy is becoming too emotionally involved and will call it off. Cuckolding in marriage takes communication, and we try to always make sure we have no secrets. MD has always said, that i can read any text or email She sends or receives. In fact, often times, i will draft the responses to guys for Her to approve if She is busy doing something else.

 If any couple is interested in exploring cuckolding i would caution them to be very careful and talk it through for a long time before going down this road. It can definitely cause hurt feelings and put a strain on a marriage. Where MD and i are now, it is perfect for us and allows us to take our WLM to a new level. If MD didn’t have other partners, then She wouldn’t have decided to stop having sex with me. But having sex with me was causing issues with Her being in total control of the relationship. It was difficult for both of us, to in one moment for me be Her lover and then immediately afterward return to being Her sissy sub hubby. Now that we have clearly defined roles without sex “mudding the waters”, we are really getting to explore what it means for Her to be in total control. Cuckolding now is different than it was previously and i am very grateful to where we are now!

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/12/15:After reading my blog of yesterday, MD attempted a half-hearted denial of being a “TD” expert. i reminded Her of the times when i was locked in my chastity cage and She would hold Her vibrator against it, just to drive me crazy. Or the time, we were going out, and She wore the key to my chastity cage as Her necklace. Then there was the time just a couple of weeks ago, where She was sitting across the table and pulled Her breasts out and as She held them said, “”D” sucked on these and came on them this afternoon” and with that, put them back in Her dress and went back to reading on Her iPad. After recounting just these off the top of my head, MD laughed and agreed that “maybe” She was a bit of a tease. (i didn’t even get to mention the times She would sit on my face and have me lick Her while She would play with me, then once She came, She would just stop and leave me hard and horny.) It is hard to describe the sexual frustration and longing that builds up inside without a release. When MD brings me right to the point of climax and then stops, it is like filling up a water balloon that has very tiny pinhole in it. You are filling it up and right before it “pops”, you tie it off and watch as it very, very, slowly starts to deflate. It is that continual rise and slow release with MD; and the more She does it, the “faster” the rise She gets out of me. i asked Her one time, to imagine when i am licking Her and right before when She usually grabs my head and pulls me in closer as She starts to cum, that i stop and back out. Her response was “Oh Hell No!” That is the difference between being a MD and a sh. She can’t imagine having that done to Her, but loves to be able do that to me.  

 The other part of the tease and denial process is that sometimes She does let me cum. So when She is playing with me, i know that there is this small, outside chance i will actually get to “finish”. This year, i believe MD has let me cum four times, the last time just a couple of weeks ago. Though MD normally doesn’t allow me to finish, on occasion She does because She “finds it amusing”. i am reminded that when i was in 6th grade, i had a girlfriend who had an older sister that we got to on a “double date”. It consisted of her and her boyfriend allowing us to ride with them to the movie. Coming back from the movie, my girlfriend and i started kissing, but we didn’t know until later that the older sister and boyfriend were giggling and laughing as they watched us in the rearview mirror, as they thought it was cute. i think that MD sees my cumming in that same amusing, cute manner. MD doesn’t see me as Her lover any longer, but more as Her “toy” to play with and enjoy. Watching me get so excited and not knowing if i am going to be allowed to cum and then finally getting to explode gives me an incredible orgasm and i imagine it is a good “cute” show.  

 The other reason MD allows me to cum occasionally is that She likes me to have to sleep in “sticky panties”. She will have me play with myself and right before i cum, i have to pull my panties up and finish with my dick inside my panties so i capture all my cum in them. She then makes me turn over and go to sleep. i usually go to sleep almost immediately, but often will wake up an hour or two later and my panties are now cold and wet and i lay there trying to find a comfortable way to go back to sleep.

 i call what MD does to me “sweet torture”. The ongoing TD drives me crazy with lust, but i can’t help but love what She does to me. To look into Her eyes as She smiles at the lust that She knows She is causing in me is amazing. On the weekends, She will start in the morning and just let it build all day. She may pull up Her dress on the side to show me She is not wearing panties. She will walk up to me and kiss me aggressively and as my knees start to buckle, She will stop and walk away. She will walk up behind me and pull Her top up and press Her breasts up against my back and say something like “wouldn’t you love to be allowed to turn around and be able to play with these?” These are just a few examples She has done in the past couple of weeks just to tease me. That is why i call it sweet torture, it hurts so good!

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

8/11/15:MD can be an incredible tease when She wants. i am not just talking about the flirting kind of tease, (and She is great at that!), but i am talking about the kind where She can get into your head and make you suffer kind of tease. MD will sometimes remind me how much bigger “J” is than me or how Her lovers can last so much longer. She will remind me that Her lovers get to cum with Her and then just smile at me. But not only is it mental, but She will do things physically as well. One of Her favorite things to do is tell me to start jacking off. She will have me get right to the edge and then tell me to stop. i am just lying there, waiting to explode and MD will pause for a second and then tell me to roll over and go to sleep, or She will tell me to roll over and She will have me listen to Her cum as She uses the vibrator. MD has “TD” (Tease & Denial) down to fine art and loves it. i think She just loves knowing She has the power to complete make me weak in the knees and make me desire Her even more than i thought possible.
 This weekend was a different form of “TD” it turns out. She gave me a “Look, Lick and Touch” (LLT) weekend. MD gave me permission to look at Her when She was changing clothes; lick Her ass and p*ssy and also touch Her. You would think this would be the exact opposite of a TD weekend, but that is not the way it turned out. Don’t get me wrong, i used my weekend privileges, as i called it my “Lust” weekend. i licked Her several times and got to hold Her breasts while we cuddled and even got to play with Her p*ssy, and that is not even counting every time She changed clothes i was in the bedroom with Her.

 What i found though, was first, it reminded me that this was only temporary break and my reality was that when the “clock struck midnight”, i was back to being denied. It was like being hungry and taken to this huge wonderful feast and being given a tiny plate and told i could only have a taste of a couple of things. It was not enough to satisfy your hunger, but made you realize even more how hungry you really are. You aren’t going to turn it down even a small taste, but the reality is it only makes you want it even worse than before. That was always in the back of my mind, that this was only a fleeting experience and reality was just a few hours away.

 The second thing i realized was that i felt guilty looking, licking and touching Her. Though it didn’t stop me, there was this feeling in my head that “i shouldn’t” and “this isn’t my role any longer”. It is an amazing dichotomy to be licking MD’s p*ssy and enjoying it tremendously, but thinking the whole time, “i really shouldn’t get to do this”. It wasn’t the actual part of getting to lick Her, but was getting to tell Her i wanted to lick Her. If MD had ordered me to, that is one thing, but for me to get to ask MD to lay back felt awkward. Even looking at Her naked felt like i was watching someone i shouldn’t. A few months ago, i would have absolutely gone wild with the “LLT” weekend, but no longer. Whether it is the mindset change of where i now know my role, or knowing that it was quickly going to be taken away and i was already dreading it or a combination of both, i am not sure.  

 When i asked MD what Her thoughts were about the LLT weekend, She admitted She was ready for it to be over. One time, when i asked to lick Her, She acknowledged it frustrated Her as She was concentrating on something else. She went ahead and agreed, but told me that She enjoys what we have now, sex on Her terms. MD no longer has to worry about my sexual needs or desires, it is only about Her and She enjoys that power and freedom. Last night as we went to bed, MD started to remove Her clothes and told me to face the wall, while She removed Her clothes and climbed into bed. She then told me i could turn around and get in bed. – life is back to normal!

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

08/09/2015:

It is now just two months away until i am permanently locked in a chastity cage, with no further sex or orgasms for me. Though i know it is coming, (pun intended), the reality is still a bit hard to comprehend. But what i have really found interesting is how much MD is seemingly looking forward to it. Where i first thought She might have some reluctance to follow through with it, there is none. There is almost a giddiness and gleam in Her eye when we discussed it yesterday.   

MD likes to be in control. She has always been that way to a degree, but now it is even so much more. She loves to be in control of the situation and of me, and as i was reminded in a store yesterday, She doesn’t want assistance from me, unless She asks for it. i think that is one major reason She is looking forward to locking the chastity cage on me. She will finally have full control of my cock. Though i don’t play with myself anyway, it is by the honor system. Knowing that She will have me locked up, with no further chance of an orgasm for me, excites Her.  

 i saw another example of Her growing control yesterday, in how She accepts the challenge of meeting new people. Last night we ran to our little dive bar in town to get a drink and a pizza. While we were finishing up, She received a text from a guy She had just started talking. He had been to dinner with some friends and just got back and asked if they could go ahead and meet. In the past MD would have more than likely have turned down the offer. She wasn’t necessarily dressed “to thrill” (but I would say She was “dressed to tantalize”) and wasn’t wearing any makeup. But in spite of that, She agreed and we met him at Starbucks. They definitely hit it off last night. He is a former marine pilot and MD does love Her military pilots! (If he had been Italian, She probably would have taken him at Starbucks!) He is now supposed to come over for dinner on Monday evening and a little “play time” afterward. What was amazing, was the control She felt to meet a guy without feeling She needed to “get prepared”. Her feeling was that if he didn’t like Her this way, She had plenty more who did.  

 It is the attitude for which MD now faces life. She knows She can handle anything and anyone. With that attitude, you can She why locking me up and denying me any future orgasms is no big deal in Her book. With me locked up we can both focus on what is truly important – Her pleasure and Her orgasms!

 Our Relationship: (Repeating on Each Blog)

As of 4/7/14, my relationship with my Wife of 16 years, changed from me being naturally submissive to Her to one where we now live fulltime in a “Wife Led Marriage” (WLM) relationship. She is now in total control of all financial, life and daily decisions. She is recognized as the unquestioned authority of our marriage and my life. My role is to be the “sh” to Her “MD”. “sh” is Her way of reminding me that i am Her “sissy”, “submissive”, “servant” and “slave” husband. The MD is “Masteress D (Her name)” or “My Domme”.  

MD