MD doesn’t like to refer to me as Her slave. i think She sees that word representing someone who has no choice but to serve, where She sees me as one who knew what i was doing when i signed the contract. She says that i must now live with the consequences of Her ownership of me. For example, MD doesn’t feel bad that i won’t ever get to have sex or even cum again. As She says, “Not my problem, you knew what the contract said when you signed it.” As Her sh, MD doesn’t feel sex or orgasms are necessary for me and feels it impacts my ability to serve Her when i do.  There are plenty of other ways that MD shows Her ownership of me.  

 1) She recently ordered a vibrating butt plug for me that should be here later this month. Now, i realize that many people have vibrating butt plugs, we own a couple already, so what is the big deal? Well this one can be run by cell phone. Normally, the ones that are remote controlled, the person must be within a few feet of the “victim”, but not in this case. The software is loaded on both of our phones and as long as my phone is near me, then She can turn the plug on or off, increase or decrease the intensity, even from hundreds of miles away. Or in my case, at the office, outside working in the yard, driving down the road, etc. Just another way She can control me remotely.  

2) MD also just gave me a new gift last week. It is a glass container that has my key to the chastity cage enclosed that She ordered from a glass smith. Now when i say enclosed, i mean totally encased and there is no way to open it except by breaking the glass. It is a nice pink shade of very fine glass and will now sit on my dresser as a visual reminder that i am permanently locked up. MD still keeps one key in Her safe in case there is an emergency or a doctor visit, but MD said that plan that my device will very rarely come off me. Having the key dangle from the glass rod it hangs from, knowing that i can never have access to it again, is amazing humbling.  

3) Having to pay to play with Her body. Very rarely does MD allow me to lick or touch Her, probably twice this year is all that i can recall. But, if i want, i can ask to pay to lick Her ass or p*ssy. or suck and play with Her breasts. She seems to love making me take my allowance and pay to experience Her. This weekend She told me it would cost over half of my July monthly allowance to lick Her p*ssy and ass and play with breasts. (i paid!) There is nothing more humiliating than having to pay money to just get to play with your Wife. She believes by doing this it keeps me in my place. Other men can enjoy Her and She can enjoy them sexually. But for sissy boys, they have to pay for the right to touch Her. i don’t think MD even considers me in a sexual way any longer. She may think that i am sexy, but She has no desire to have sex with me. That is not my role. i am more like a vibrator or toy; something that can be used to make Her cum, but i have to pay for the privilege of being Her toy.

 It is an amazing feeling knowing that MD owns and controls me. My focus is to serve and submit to Her desires. In the past, when we were doing Domme/sub activities, it was always with an end in mine. There was going to be a time where the scene ended. There is no “scene” any longer. There is no end in sight. The journey is now the goal.